My babies. They’re at this stage right now where they need me for almost everything. Sam is getting more and more independent, but he’s still very much dependent- and I’m more than okay with that.
They need me to pick them up, to give them things, to feed them and bathe them and diaper them, they need me to kiss their owies and brush their hair and put on their shoes. They need me to play with them, to read to them, to teach them right from wrong. They need me to tell them “no” and protect them and love them, with everything that I have.
And you know what? I’m going to miss being this needed-always- I just know it. I’m going to miss having a little attachment on my hip and in my arms. I’m going to miss that little “mama” and those tiny arms reaching up to be held. Gosh, I’m going to miss it all so much.
This season of life is hard (and sometimes I think how much easier it would be to actually do things with both hands), but if we’re being completely honest, I love it- all of it. Because it’s hard, sure, but gosh is it not heaven on earth?! And really, when I do have my hands free, I don’t know what to do with them anyway, sooooo… there’s that.
I think that being needed is kind of an obsession. At first it’s this new and strange thing that forces you to stop being selfish, and then you get used to it and it becomes second nature, and then you expect it, but more than that you grow to love it and need it. I think that’s where I’m at right now. I love being needed. I love having this purpose so much greater than myself. It’s a rush, right? And what happens when this “needy” stage is over?
But, there’s also this: I’m their mama and I will always be needed. So sure, the list of needs will change through the years, they’ll evolve and mold to whatever life stage we are in at the time, but the truth of the matter will always remain: I will be needed. Because you don’t ever stop needing your mom. I’ve found that out the hard way.
So I will watch my babies grow up with pride and joy and excitement, and I’ll be there for them, every step of the way. And I can only pray and hope that they’ll see that they need me. Because gosh, do I need them.