• Maybe it’s the recent heartbreaking reminder of how short life is. Maybe it comes with growing older. Maybe it’s these old wounds that I feel have been re-opened, of grief, of heartache and the need to live every day doing what you love with whom you love and not taking one single breath for granted. ✨ I felt it so deeply when my mom died, and again it’s come back. So deep. I think I didn’t fully process and heal and grow from that experience- and really, I’m not sure if you ever really do. Can you? I mean, really? Sure, you learn from it. You start healing each day that passes. It’s slow but things do get better. But you never stop grieving. The anniversary of her death is coming up in February- it’ll be 7 years. And I think everything recently has boiled up inside of me and I’m so aware of the fragility of life itself. 💔
ALL THIS TO SAY. I’m starting to change some things. I’m doing things I love. I just filled my library holds list with books that I want to read- for FUN. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve picked up a book for fun. Not an autism book. Not a parenting book. Not a self-discovery book. And I’m excited for it. I’m listening to music that makes my soul soar. The good stuff that you feel deep in your bones. And I’m rearranging every room of our house. Because, it gives me joy. And good grief, life is way too short to wait and wait and wait and remain complacent. A fire is lit inside me, and I’m changing things. And damn, it feels GOOD.
Basically this is what I want to say: I’ve been meaning to put these shelves up in the playroom for MONTHS, and I finally did. And I love it. I finally hung pictures of the kids on our walls, and it makes my heart happy every time I walk by. I’m making little changes and it’s bringing me joy. So. If you have some things you’ve been wanting to do, can I light a little fire inside of you to DO IT? Today. Right now. I think it’ll make you happy. And isn’t that ultimately what it’s all about?
  • I read this today and it really resonated with me: “Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.”
Whoa. This has been going through my head all day, after hearing of the Kobe Bryant tragedy. So heartbreaking and sad, and honestly it’s shaken me to my core. Hold your loved ones tight. Life is fleeting- sometimes more so than we can even imagine. Don’t wait. Just love- and love hard. 💗 http://liketk.it/2JBCN #liketkit @liketoknow.it
  • Sophie is the little sister that Sam needs. She pushes him out of his comfort zone. She seeks his attention and won’t stop until she gets it. She’s persistent. She’s sweet. She’s caring. She’s nurturing. And she loves so fiercely. Sometimes she’ll ask, “Why doesn’t Sam talk?” 💔 And we just tell her, it’s hard for him, and he talks without using his voice right now. And she sits there with a serious look on her face, nodding slowly, like she understands. And who knows. Maybe she understands even more than we do.
Every Friday at school, Sophie gets to pick a treasure out of the treasure box- a sticker or a small toy. And every single time, she picks something for Sam, too. And it’s amazing how it’s something she picks specifically for him. Last week was a top that spins (Sam loves to spin things). I’m just blown away by how attentive and thoughtful this girl is. I can feel like a failure over and over, but when I see my babies, I see everything RIGHT. 💗
This was one of those moments I want to bottle up forever- Sam and Sophie, walking hand in hand, both of them smiling and giggling and just happy to be together. And I see, they were meant to be each other’s. ✨ #siblings
  • First date night of 2020. 💗 And goodness did we need it. The beginning of this year has been nonstop, lots of decisions and changes and “adulting” and sickness and finally... to be able to get out together, no babies, for a few hours. To just “be” and have uninterrupted conversation. To hold hands and be silly and talk about nothing and everything at the same time. This guy is my rock and my other half and I’m so happy he’s mine, and I’m his. #sappybuttrue And now, back to reality of changing diapers and little sleep and sticky fingers and messes everywhere. Wouldn’t change it for a thing. ❤️
  • Lots of adulting this week, including a tour of our neighborhood school this morning and trying to figure out the best place for Sam to go next year for 1st grade!!! Somehow, we’re already here. 😫😭 Lots of different things to consider, but it all boils down to what’s best for HIM and his growth. ❤️ We just want a perfect inclusion school with teachers who are all trained in ABA and support aides for anyone who needs one, and a beautiful art program and classes that meet each child where they are, and... maybe Zack and I will just open our own school. 😉 (kind of serious about this 😬)... I’ll let you know when we figure this all out. 🤯 Little Ollie boy is the best sidekick, happiest when being worn and just winning over the hearts of everyone we encounter. 🥰 The bright spot of all of my days.
Outfit details, including my favorite cardigan, on sale: http://liketk.it/2JdX5 #liketkit @liketoknow.it
  • This is 4. 🌈 Sophie Michelle, my strong willed, personality plus, dancing queen. To know you is to love you. You have the sweetest (and wildest) soul, always want to hold your baby brother, you make up songs in your own little language, love all animals, only want to wear dresses every single day- with multiple outfit changes, mais oui. 💁‍♀️ You are always giving out compliments. You’re one of the funniest people I know and love all of the attention on you (but take some time to warm up). You are everything I want to be, even if I have to remind myself “don’t kill her spirit” 50 times a day. 🤪 Happy 4th birthday, my darling girl. 💗
  • Celebrated our little unicorn-loving almost-4-year-old yesterday with friends and family! Unicorn party two years in a row- what can I say, she knows what she likes. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂🦄 Our house is still in disarray (9 toddlers, man 🤪) and we’ve got leftover cake in the fridge and are feeling a liiiiiittle extra tired today, so it was a success! 🎉 (side note: I made my first balloon garland, and it was surprisingly easy! Tutorial coming soon!)