Gosh this post is a hard one for me to hit publish on. There have been a lot of tears around these parts the past few days. There has been a lot of frustration and anger and confusion and bad feelings and donuts and I guess I’ll just get right into why that is…
We went to Sam’s 9 month well baby check up last Friday. The medical assistant took his measurements, weighed him, then left the room, like usual. But then, a few minutes later, she returned, to weight him again. This is when we knew something was up. Once the pediatrician came in, she told us she was concerned because he hadn’t gained any weight since his last appointment, 2 months ago. In fact, he had lost 2 pounds. This may not seem like a huge deal, 2 pounds, that’s nothing, but for a little 15 pound baby who needs to always be gaining it’s a pretty big deal. She ordered some blood tests and PRAISE GOD they all came back fine. So our next step is to get more calories into him and to come back in 2 weeks for a weigh-in. And that’s how our appointment ended.
What do you do when your healthy and happy little baby boy is in the 2nd percentile? What do you do when you are told that he’s perfectly healthy, but he’s lost 2 pounds in 2 months? It isn’t easy to hear. Sure, he’s been slow with the eating thing. But he just doesn’t like solids yet. He still has me. But now I know that I’m not enough.
This is just so hard. I was so proud of those little rolls. I made each and every one of them. But now I know I can’t do it all on my own anymore. I’ve been trying and it’s simply not enough. But what do you do when your baby refuses a bottle, or when your baby won’t eat solids, no matter how much you try? When your baby’s doctor prescribes some formula feedings in addition to more frequent nursing sessions, but your baby hates formula and is suddenly refusing a bottle, too? It’s a hopeless feeling. And it’s frustrating. And it’s tearing me down emotionally as well as physically. I don’t want to resent my body. I don’t want to resent my baby. I refuse to do either of those things. So we’ll keep trying. For now, that’s all we can do.
I wasn’t going to share this on here. To be honest, I’m ashamed of it. This isn’t something I take lightly. This is my whole entire world and if Sam isn’t right then nothing in my world is. I wasn’t going to talk about it on here, but then I remembered, if I’m anything on this blog, I’m real and I’m honest and I want to share what I’m going through. Because maybe some of you are going through this too or have experienced something similar. And maybe you have felt ashamed and scared and worried out of your mind, and I guess I just want to say to you, that you are not alone. None of us are alone. Because sometimes it sure can feel that way, especially when reading other blogs or looking at social media, but know that we are all just seeing edited glimpses and never the full story. This is my attempt at showing a bit more of my story.
The unedited, raw and real part.
So here’s what we’re doing. First, I’m trying to increase my supply. I’m eating more calories myself so that will hopefully transfer to Sam. Hence the donut run the other morning. Yes, I’m eating more fatty foods, because honestly, whatever it takes is my motto right now. Plus, I guess an excuse to eat donuts isn’t the worst thing, now is it? ;) I’m also nursing him much more often. Before, I would nurse him in the morning when he woke up, then every time he woke from a nap (roughly 3 times a day) and twice before bed. Now, I’m also nursing him before each nap, almost doubling his feedings. We’ve also discovered that he likes Cheerios and Puffs and yogurt melts and things of that nature, so we’re encouraging him to snack on those, and trying to get him to eat rice cereal and little bites of whatever we’re eating, but it’s a challenge. We found a good trick is to dip his little finger foods in some formula, that way he at least gets a bit more calories that way, too.
My dear Aunt Julie (she’s a pediatric ICU nurse, and my mom always called nurses “angels on earth,” and you know, she was 100000% correct. Aunt Julie is our angel!) came over the other night, when we were at our wit’s end (okay, mostly me, I was a complete wreck) and gave us some tips and brought over a care package full of things for Sam to try, and fun sippy cups and bowls and spoons, and some beer for dad and ice cream for mom. ;) God. Bless. Aunt. Julie.
So please, pray for our sweet Sam. That we can get some pounds packed on his little body. That we will be easier on ourselves. That we will treat him well but also treat ourselves well (hence the donuts). It’s really easy to take care of our babies, but we have to take care of ourselves too. We are not failures and we’re all doing the best we can. I’m repeating that one a lot lately.
And here’s the thing about that phrase “failure to thrive.” He IS thriving. He’s experiencing new things every day, he’s learning and growing and loves reading and playing and cuddling. He laughs and dances and crawls and sits up and is exactly where he should be in all of his developmental milestones. Sam is just such a happy and fun and sweet baby, so we never for once have thought he isn’t “thriving.” He just needs more meat on his bones. I don’t have anything really to conclude this post with except that we’re trying really hard. I hope it’s enough.
Have you experienced anything like this?
Any tips for increasing milk supply/ getting a baby to take a bottle/ weight gain in babies? I’m all ears.
xo
Hey Katie! I’m not a mom, but I have a lot of close friends who are. I know from chatting with them that there is a tea called Mother’s Milk that is supposed to increase milk production. And one of my momma friend’s is an herbalist and she swears by the herb fenugreek for increasing milk production. She says within 24-72 hours of drinking the tea with the herb in it her milk production increases. Your little guy seems very healthy and happy, he’s just small! You are a great mommy and doing a wonderful job! Praying that you have a crazy amount of peace during this struggle and that baby Sam packs on those pounds! ;) P.S. Can babies under a year old eat avocados? They are super good for you and would be high on a good source of fat content.
Oh you poor thing, it sounds like the past few days have been rough ones in your home. Do what you have to, and the rest well fall into place. I am praying for you guys!
Oh sweet Katie. I know how incredibly hard that is. No one wants to be told their baby isn’t doing what they should be doing. But please, please remember that it is not a reflection on your mommy abilities. You are a wonderful mommy, showcased by the changes you are making to try to get that sweet boy to gain some weight. It will probably be a little difficult in the beginning because you’re doing things that neither of you are used to, so there is a learning curve, but give it a few days and things will start falling into place. I love that you have such supportive family members who go over and above to help you out – how amazing of her! And all I can tell you is to not get down on yourself. Focus on that sweet boy (which I know you are doing) and don’t be afraid to try some new things. Everything will turn out just fine, just a little blip on the radar! Again, I reiterate, you are a WONDERFUL mommy and Sam is so lucky to have you. <3
I had this when my baby was really young… less than a month old. I was in tears around the clock. Fortunately for me it was a fairly easy fix in that I started pumping and giving him a bottle (against the advice of the lactation consultants). Everyone was saying, don’t do it, don’t do it, and I felt like a failure, but he just couldn’t figure out how to latch on to me. The bottle helped perk him up and give him strength, and then once he was strong, he figured out the breast really easily.
I hope your little peanut can pack on some weight. He is obviously happy and healthy and you are doing a great job. Don’t get discouraged.
Hi Katie,
I just wanted to let you know I have been in the very same position as you with my daughter. Her weight issues began at 6 months where she dropped from 5th percentile to -5th! Its heartbreaking as a mom to go through it feeling like a complete failure. I know tons of people have given you advise on how to add pounds on your handsome man, so I don’t think I have much to add. My pediatrician really worked with my daughters nutrition and started her on whole milk around 10 months and giving her things like peanut butter, avocados, whole milk yogurt, etc. My daughter has always been small from birth and still to this day but has developmentally always been on par or ahead. Just try not to stress it too much, it all works out!! Hugs Momma!!
Sending thoughts and prayers for you a little Sam your way! My baby just turned 10 months old yesterday and I have been following you since I had him :) If he likes the yogurt melts have you tried yobaby organic yogurt by Stonyfield? Jack is very picky with oatmeal/rice cereal but loves the yobaby yogurt and it has 100 cals and 4 grams of protein in the tiny jar. I second the avocado. I gave Jack a lot when he first started solids mixed with bananas. If he starts taking the bottle I would also ask your ped about making the nipple of the bottle a bit bigger and putting 1/4 teaspoon of rice cereal in it (many pediatricians do not like this so check first). We did this for Jack since he was 4 lbs when he was born. Just know this is just one of the hurdles of mothering and you will get through this!! xo
We’ll definitely try the Stonyfield yogurt! That’s a great amount of cals/protein! And we plan on stocking up on the avos, too! I’m hoping he’ll take a bottle soon, because we’ve been wanting to do the rice cereal trick. We’ll see. Thanks so much for your comment!
xo
My daughter is getting sort of picky with solids (diva) but also loves Puffs and Cheerios so I squish any type of fruit or vegetable to the back of a Puff or Cheerio to get her to eat them :) Sweet potatoes and avocado work really well in that situation.
I also wanted to share that my sister’s baby girl was born 10 weeks early and 2 years later is STILL not even on the charts for weight, but she is a healthy and happy girl (just petite)!
Hang in there, Katie. My little guy has never been above the 5th percentile (he’s almost 2). He’s a super picky eater, but we do our best. My mom always told me that a baby is not going to let themselves starve, so don’t worry too much if he’s not a big eater. He’s just doing his own thing.
I’ve been followig for a long time, never commented though, but I thought I might lend a little advice. I too had problems with my little guy gaining weight, but his was due to reflux/dairy allergy, while he never lost weight he has always been on the small side. I never had any luck getting either of my children to take bottles, we only exclusively nursed & while that can be a pain in the butt, it’s all we had & we did it. I’d say the thing that helped my supply the most was eating enough calories & nursing often. It might take a week or so, but if your nursing more often you’ll notice your supply catching up quickly. Your body knows what to do. As far as solids, I don’t know if you’ve tried yet, but I would suggest skipping the rice cereal & going straight to stage 1 fruits & veggies. My son never cared for rice cereal, so I only ever used it to thicken purées. I understand the feeling of failing your baby or not being strong enough to handle it, but you can do this momma! God will give you the strength & wisdom you need to go through this valley!
Thank you so much Liza!! Your words are so encouraging and I appreciate them so much. <3 I sure hope this is working and my supply catches up!
xo
You’re doing great mama! Sam IS clearly learning and thriving even if he isn’t gaining weight quickly enough. I’m sure he’ll get there.
Have you tried baby led weaning? Some babies seem to refuse being spoon fed, but really enjoy feeding themselves. We just began introducing solids and it’s been slow going to start but our baby is getting more and more into it each day. It’s messy but fun!
For increasing milk supply, oatmeal and fatty foods (like for a while I had a reese’s peanut butter cup blizzard every day…) helped me out.
Do you pump at all? Maybe giving Sam breastmilk from a bottle would help him get used to the idea of also taking formula from a bottle if necessary. Plus any additional pumping sessions will also boost your supply! When my guy was first born he had a hard time nursing because he was premature so I had to nurse, then pump, then bottle feed him the pumped milk every time. Pumping is no fun, but it might be worth it.
<3 Big hugs! Being a mama is hard sometimes.
My kids were both tiny. Both below the 2nd percentile!!!! Now they are both in the 25th percentile. Please don’t beat yourself up. My daughter, who was tinier than my son, ate rice cereal, oatmeal, and ALL forms of pureed fruit and veggies. My son would simply NOT eat food. He only wanted the milk. In fact he pretty much bypassed pureed foods and went straight to cheerios, puffs, and (believe it or not) popcorn (air popped). He’d sometimes eat applesauce and mashed bananas but he liked the milk most of all. Your little guy looks so happy and healthy!!! You are tiny and your husband isn’t huge. My husband and I are about your sizes and our kids have just always been tiny (but healthy!!!). Stay positive, he will be just fine I’m sure. xo
First of all, you just made me cry, because you just described how I have been feeling since before our little Hallie was born! She was born at 4 lb 15 oz and they took her from me 3 weeks early because she wasn’t gaining weight and they hoped that feeding her from the outside was the trick. It wasn’t! Still at 7 months we are not on the charts at all for weight, yet she is doing EVERYTHING she should be, rolling, trying to crawl…this kid is actually pulling up and already trying to walk! Point being, look at how happy he is and all of the milestones he has met! Just because he is small doesn’t mean he isn’t healthy! You are doing EVERYTHING right! Good job! Sam is so perfect and I wish I could give you a huge hug right now! Being a mom is so hard at times like this! Hang in there! Sam will be just fine!
Katie, I just recently found and starting following your blog+I’m so glad I did! First off, you’re an amazing mom to an amazing little guy. It sounds like you’re doing everything right, so don’t forget to honor that. I’m struggling with my production right now and am meeting with a lactation consultant tomorrow. Over the phone, she recommended Fenugreek+Yogi Breastfeeding Support tea. All over Pinterest are recipes for lactation cookies (I haven’t tried these yet) that people swear by. If I find anything out tomorrow that I think might be helpful, I’ll be sure to share. We’re praying for you guys!
Danna, thank you SO MUCH for your comment! I am going to be picking up some fenugreek tonight!! And yes, please do let me know what the lactation consultant says! I’m very interested in hearing. Praying for you as well, sweet girl!
xo
My LC recommends 3000mg of Fenugreek daily, as well as 3000mg of Blessed Thistle. Apparently, they work well together to increase milk supply. Other things recommended to me have been to add chia, flax, coconut oil to old fashioned oats. Lots of healthy fats, like avocado and fish oils too.
When I saw the title, I had a sense what the post was going to be about, but the first thought that came to my head was “But he IS thriving. He is thriving in so many ways”. You are a great mama and this will pass. Keep taking care of yourself and enjoy this super fun age!
Thank you for your comment! I should clarify, his pediatrician is amazing and she never used the term “failure to thrive” at all, but then I checked his appointment summary, and that’s the term they use in the medical profession and I felt the exact same way you did. He IS thriving!! :)
xo
Oh, sweet girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your lovely family! I have absolutely no advice for you (as I haven’t gone through anything like this before), but I wish you all the best and I just KNOW he’ll be fine. And look at that handsome little face! He’s so happy.
As a mom of 2, when I read this post I instantly related to everything you are experiencing right now. My 3-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in July. She had lost 5 pounds (which is a big deal for a toddler) and wasn’t herself. We’re still learning, and working hard to control her blood sugars, and thankfully – she is thriving. She is healthy. However, as her mother, I am an absolute wreck over how unfair this all seems. I wanted to comment to show my support for you. It certainly appears you have a great Support Army surrounding you with your aunt, and I know you will both be just fine. He is in good hands, he is still smiling, and he is blessed to have you as his Mom. If you ever want to email me to chat, feel free.
Brianne, thank you so much for your comment and your words of support. They are so great to hear and I absolutely understand how you’re feeling an absolute wreck- sounds like we’re identical in that way right now! I’m so sorry that your sweet little one is going through this scary time. We’re all just doing the best we can, huh? I hope you have an incredible support team as well and I’ll be praying for you and your sweet girl. <3
xo
Keep at girl! You are on the right track! You have to make sure you are nourishing yourself even more to keep that milk flowing (my sister in law is a nurse so I ask her stuff all the time while I’m preggo!). I’m sure if you give that little sweetie some sweet healthy things, he will pick up on it soon. Bananas and sweet potatoes come to mind. Fingers crossed, stay positive <3
Hi Katie,
I think at some point every mom has felt ashamed and scared and worried out of her mind. Those are just signs of a good mom. I took fenugreek vitamins & it increased my supply when I was nursing. You are donig great, don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you Brittney! It’s so nice to hear that I’m not the only one, you know? Sometimes that really helps relieve some doubt and confusion and shame. I will be getting myself some fenugreek today!!! And I’ll definitely be very conscious of NOT beating myself up. <3
xo
I know how stressful and hard hearing that is… My daughter is on the smaller side too and we were told she was on the verge of being a failure to thrive around her 2nd birthday. She has always been under the 10%. At some check-ups even falling into the 1-2%. She was proportionate, so there was no part of her body that was growing any larger then any other part of her body. At her 3 month check-up she weighed 9 lbs and at her 1 year visit she was only 17 lbs! She is almost 5 and I would be surprised if she weighed over 40 labs. At her last visit she was finally in the 30%! I was so excited to see her make such a big jump!! She is smart (sometime to smart for her own good) and has met all of her milestones in a reasonable amount of time. Our doctor basically said to give her high fat foods; like whole milk, whole fat cheese and yogurt. I know your little one is still to small for some of these, but maybe look for high fat baby food options. It seems scary and you feel guilty because you feel like you are doing everything you can. But the fact of the matter is, some kids are just smaller then others!
Being a mom is HARD and when they tell you that something you are doing isn’t working or isn’t enough, it is crushing! If my pediatrician told me my baby was failing to thrive I would probably have punched him ;) like you said yourself: he IS thriving – he’s exploring and happy and sweet and sleeping (girl, that in and of itself is a miracle) so don’t focus so much on the words the pediatrician used and just focus on the fact that for the last 18 months you have created and grown and brought this beautiful little human being into the world where you continued to nourish him just by your breast for 9 MONTHS (um how amazing is that?!) and teach him and watch him learn all these new skills. You are a GREAT mom! My daughter is a month younger than Sam sam and I have been following along since your pregnancy and although I’ve never commented, you have helped me A LOT so I thought now it was time to return the favor and hopefully help you with some encouraging words!
As for the bottle, did he ever take a bottle? Sometimes Babies start refusing the bottle when they are teething so that could be an issue. If not, a good way to do it is to just do breastmilk first in the bottle and start nursing him, when he’s nursing good after a minute or so, unlatch him and sneak the bottle in his mouth, right up against you, so you are kind of “tricking” him. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep trying! Then slowly add an ounce of formula and decrease an ounce of breastmilk and do the transition slow. I had to transition my daughter at 8 months and that’s how we did it.
As for solids just keep trying – like you said it’s all you can do! Sometimes they might not like something at first but after 4 or 5 tries they warm up to it!
Ok longest comment ever lol sorry!! But just hang in there and remember you are a GREAT mommy!!! Xo
Vanessa, thank you SO MUCH for commenting! It means the world to me! You have such amazing tips, too, and it’s nice just to hear that I’m not alone in all of this frustration! I will definitely try what you did for your little one- tricking with the bottle. We’ll see how that goes… The crazy part of all of this, is he did used to take the bottle! We introduced it at around 3 months, to let Zack feed him and give me a reprieve. I have pumped ever since, whenever I’m full or if we were planning on being gone or whatever, and each time he’s taken it like a champ! He was even holding his own bottle and guzzling it down- it was great! So the fact that now, all of a sudden, he’s completely tight-mouthed refusing the bottle, it’s very frustrating and confusing! Especially now that we need him to take it! I will definitely try what you suggested and pray that it works! Thank you thank you again, for commenting and reading! :)
xo
I know that in France when toddlers are having a hard time gaining weight, they tell the parents to cut out extra sugar (because it decreases their appetite apparently) and add tons of oil to everything they eat. I imagine that would be really difficult to do in your case though, and I don’t even know if it’s solid advice. I’ve just worked a lot with very young children here and have known several children on this diet.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. That’s just so frustrating. :/ Wishing you the best of luck!
I’m sorry you’re going through this! You are a great mommy! I have almost 2 year old twins and they have always been on the small side, ( my daughter isn’t even on the “scale” yet and my son is 5th percentile) I always cook with coconut oil and give them lots of avocado. I make them smoothies with whole milk and avocado and a bunch of other stuff. That way I know their getting healthy fats. I EPed for a year and was able to freeze milk as well. I was eating all the time and was careful about exercising too much because I noticed a huge decrease in my supply. I’m sure everything will work out and your little man will chunk up in no time! I know it’s tough as a mommy to be hard on yourself, but try not to be so hard on yourself! You have a beautiful healthy boy and you are doing a great job raising him!
Hi Katie,
I also have a baby boy who is almost 9 months so I have been following you on IG and your blog. I totally understand how upset you can be since you have been breastfeeding this whole time and now they are telling you to give formula and giving a fully breastfed baby formula at this point- of course they will refuse it!!! Anyway when I am at work, my son will even have a hard time taking breastmilk from a bottle – he is old enough to know the difference. I started introducing solids at 4 months- he always looked very interested in food. He currently has 3 meals a day even when I am bfing because at this age I don’t think for him the milk is enough. Just to give you an idea – He will have milk when he wakes up , then an hour later i will feed him a decent size bowl of oatmeal with bananas and he will still have some more milk after when I am putting him down for a nap. Then he will have a bigger lunch before nap #2 – usually its some type of meat/veg puree or i will take some bread and avocado and cut it into little strips, our you can do it with an omelet. I think if you are sitting there eating your meal with him he will be encouraged to do the same. If i am home with him I will still nurse him randomly through the day but I try to keep mealtimes consistent everyday- and we usually do dinner at 5 pm before his bath. I like to make some mashed sweet potatoes (I know sometimes you can add some butter to it to encourage them to like it more- same with the oatmeal!) but sometimes if i have some other foods like meat or fish I will give him a little to try. It can get a little messy but they love it and at first you may think they are just making a mess and not eating but eventually they get the hang of it! Good luck I am sure the little guy will start loving solids very soon just like mom and dad!
xoxo
First and foremost… relax!!! your baby boy is perfect as perfect can be. My little one is on her own curve. breast fed babies weigh less. the “norm” in America is obese and that’s what that scale is based on. My little princess is a mere 22 pounds at 2 years old. you are doing an amazing job feeding your little one so do not knock yourself at all. your plan sounds great and just keep introducing. Breast fed babies have a hard time with the texture of foods and it stays. my little one till has issues with textures. meat is a big one and now mashed potatoes. greek yogurt is great for protein. I will be seeing my pedi in 6 months for another weight and height check since she didn’t gain or grow much. keep up the good work and remember stay relaxed. if you feel like hes happy, healthy and NOT hungry all the time then don’t worry. good luck!
So sorry to hear this Katie :( I am so glad you have the support of so many awesome readers! You are such an amazing mommy and that’s why we ALL continue to come back and look forward to each one of your posts! I understand your heartbreak coming from a momma’s perspective. If there’s any tips I could offer about upping your supply, as I’ve had some issues, is to drink GATORADE. When I feel like my supply is getting low I chug it and continue to drink it throughout the day and the next few days when I noticed that it has bumped up again. I hope this works for you! It’s an easy try since gatorade is yummy lol
I am so sorry to hear how hard the last few days have been for you! I know you are a great momma and Sam is so blessed to have you as his! I am praying for you guys! I’m not a mom, but I have heard that root beer increases milk supply. Something to do with the yeast.
I’ve been there. Except instead of it being my 9 month old, it was my 1 month old. It’s a scary sentence to hear. Does he spit up a lot? We had problems eating and taking the bottle because my sweet guy’s insides were all messed up—it hurt him to eat so he only ate the bare minimum and spit up a lot. Hang in there and trust your instincts. I also learned from being in the hospital with our sweet guy after surgery that if you’re overly stressed or anxious they will pick up on that and get frazzled themselves. I would listen to some music during feeding to relax myself and just let things happen, it seemed to help chill both me and Alex out.
I am going to suggest something that I had to do with our son; I call it “What Ever It Takes”.
Due to me not producing enough milk, no matter how hard I tried; I switched to pumping full time, and went 100% to the bottle (babies seem to not like going back and forth between bottle and breast). This allowed for two things: we could supplement with formula, if needed, and my husband could become an equal part of his feedings. It also allowed for a very easy transition to formula when the time came as my milk was no longer enough. Sam is healthy, but underweight. This is totally fixable. With our son now 3 1/2 years, I will tell you that other things are going to be hard and emotional too. You and Zack together can address this one and get through it. You’ve got to pick yourself up, and stay positive. You know Sam can sense your emotions, so one of the most important things is to get in a positive and happy frame of mind. The other thing I learned is to get go of the idea that my son has my breast milk, so he doesn’t need solids yet. This is my “Whatever it takes” mantra; if that means formula, we did it. If that means switching to whole milk per the pediatrician, we did it. If it meant pumping vs. breastfeeding, I did it. Whatever it takes. I still have this same belief today, and I know I will have it when Conor is 7, 15, 18, and into adulthood. I will be open to changing what I think is best, to ensure that he is getting the best. Sometimes we think we know, but we don’t. I hoped to breastfeed, but I was not able to, but pumping worked, so I adjusted to it; whatever it takes. Then, at 5 months, the pediatrician wanted us to start formula (not something I wanted to do) but for Conor, it was the right thing to do, because he needed more; whatever it takes. I let go of any ideals I had about what was right so that our son was healthy and getting the nutrients he needed. And that is totally ok. Sitting here today I can barely remember the frustration I had during that time. Remember that in the big picture, life is trial and error, when it is something serious, like Sam getting not enough nourishment, it is very frightening. Just know there are so many mamas and dads out there that have been through it, and it is a normal part of raising a young person. The fact is, it’s hard! You guys will be AOK.
Have you tried a comotomo or joovy boob bottle? They are supposed to be easy transition bottle for breastfed babies. Keep your head up. I’ve metioned before how I found your instagram while I was pregnant and started also reading your blog. Your an inspiration to the other mamas that your blog. You do an amazing job dont forget that.
You’re doing an AMAZING job with him. He is thriving. Sure, do what you can to increase the milk production and feedings but don’t blame yourself.
I’m sure Sam will show more interest in foods pretty soon. Not sure if you’re already doing this, but we’ve been sitting our baby at the table with us since he was 5 months old. At dinner time, everyone sits and we all eat. At first he mostly only watched us but we’d offer solids anyway. I also started giving him the sippy cup around that age during dinner time. I think kids learn from imitation. Now at 8 months (no teeth), we give him soft food but also pieces of what we’re eating. He’s starting to grab it with his hands. Most fall but we help him. I think the important thing is to show our kids how to eat by letting them observe and imitate us.
First off, you are an amazing mama and doing all you can for your little man! We as moms are sometimes our own worst critics and it helps to hear that you are a great mother.
Secondly, Sam may just be a smaller baby. My son just had his 6 month appointment and dropped from the 56th percentile to the 37th. He is thriving as your Sam is, he is just a skinnier baby it seems. We are just starting solids and he doesn’t seem to like it much. Some days he won’t want more than 3 bites of cereal and just wants breast milk. I nurse exclusively and he always seems to want me more. Keep up your supply and get as many calories in your little guy as possible. The point is as you said, he IS thriving! He seems like such a smart boy and obviously adores you.
You are doing great! Breathe, it’s a learning experience for us first time moms and I know we just want the best for them. Keep your head up, I’m sure it’s been tough, but it’ll get better.
First (and probably most important) you let yourself feel all the emotions. The frustration, the hopelessness, the despair. Feel them all. Because pushing them down isn’t going to make them go away. Then you remember that you DO have a happy, healthy baby and this is just a change in the course of how you go about things. And one of the million frustrations you are going to feel as a mom. (One day he is going to fall and bump his head and have a giant goose egg and you will feel like you watched him get hit by a tank!) It sounds like you have a plan- babies don’t understand planning- so it will take him awhile to get on board. And one day, he just will. And he will gain the weight and you will move on. I promise you it is going to be that simple in the end, but it will not feel that simple getting there. You sound like you have an amazing support team around you, and all your internet friends(!) to lean on! So don’t forget to lean on em! Smiles, hugs and prayers for you!
Jaimee
http://www.beyondtheclothing.com
Don’t ever think you are not enough for your baby because you are! He is obviously thriving, just a little hesitant when it comes to food! :) My daughter was the same way and would barely eat any solid food until she turned 13 months old. Until she took an interest in eating 3 meals a day I made sure my milk was as fatty as I could get it! I ate eggs scrambled in coconut oil every day. Added chia and flax seed to oatmeal, cookies, and smoothies. I usually ate a whole avocado every day and snacked on nuts. Lots of healthy fatty foods. Keep in mind though – it’s possible that the more milk your baby drinks the less room for solids they will have! Maybe try offering solids before you nurse to see if that helps at all.
I also had to stop running which was really hard for me, but I noticed a HUGE decrease in my supply when I put any kind of physical stress on my body. I told myself that it was for my daughter and only for a short time in the grand scheme of things!
Thought of some more good fats to incorporate into your diet – olive oil, cheese, tuna, salmon, butter… Try offering these foods to Sam too! One of my daughter’s first food loves was cheese!
We haven’t tried giving him cheese yet! Will do that. Thank you so much for all of your amazing tips!
xo
Oh girl! We’ve been through this too! Our little man has always been 1% in weight and the doctor has been pushing and pushing us to pump up the calories! I do my best but little man eats what he wants and is happy, heathy, and meeting milestones. Recently, our ped admits that maybe he is just a small guy. We had to see an OT, Gastro ped, and were pushed for blood tests too. And all is normal. We are working really hard to get him to like avocado and adding healthy fats like coconut oil into solids. Its a work in progress. You are doing your best mama! And weight gain slows down after 6 months and they get more active. I stopped pumping at 5 months and little man struggled with formula. We work at it every day! Everything will be just fine! XOXO
Jessica, I had no idea! Your little man is so sweet and happy and perfect!! We just have little guys, I definitely think that’s all there is to it. Thanks for reminding me of that. :)
xo
The most important thing is that your baby is happy! This could be way he is waking up more….trying to get more calories at night! Just keep nursing and trying your best with solids. He will get it. Have you let him try to feed himself? My little man likes the munchkin silicone feeder- I put fruit/veggies in it and he sucks and munches it out. It’s mess but it’s fun! Might be worth a try. Just know that you are doing your very best and he loves you very, very much! xoxo big hugs to you!
Also, babies can be really, really picky about formula. My guy will only drink Baby’s Only Organic. We tried like 5!!! And sweet potatoes are his fave (big plus is they are high in calories).
Katie – I’ve been following your blog since I was pregnant, my son is right behind yours! He is also a very picky eater, but we always found that he would eat avocados and bananas. We also just recently found a jar food by Beech Nut that is 100% natural and he loves most of them. It is frustrating when they just won’t eat but don’t get discouraged!
Brianna, thank you for following along! :) And for your comment! I will search for Beech Nut. And I’ll continue to try feeding him avocado, because I know that is some gooood healthy fat! <3
xo
My son was also low in weight. 5th percentile. Greek whole fat yogurt from trader joes worked wonders!!! Sometimes id buy flavored ones and other times I’d buy plain and miss it with avacado! I hope this helps
Sweet Katie. I just heart you and your blog. I love that you share things with us, and you keep it real. Being a mom has it’s challenges. Sometimes daily. At the end of the day we need to remember that we love our baby, we’re doing everything we can to keep them healthy and happy, and we’re doing our best. I couldn’t breastfeed my first and I felt like a failure. He drank formula and I felt judged by other moms. We has mothers need to support each other, and share our stories. Thank you for sharing yours. Sam is a happy and healthy baby and you can see that in the pictures. You are doing an amazing job.
Awww Jennifer!!! Your comment made me smile so much. :) I HATE that there is so much pressure to breastfeed and if you don’t (or CAN’T) you end up feeling like a failure! It’s terrible and I wish so badly it wasn’t the case. As long as a baby is well taken care of and loved, how he gets his nutrients shouldn’t matter to anyone one bit. Period. I’m so sorry you felt that way. YOU are doing an amazing job, as well. :) Lots of hugs to you!
xo
I experienced the same thing with my daughter when she was three months old. I noticed that her clothes were getting bigger on her rather than smaller and so I made an appointment with the doctor. Sure enough, she was loosing weight and was failing to thrive. I was beside myself. The problem was that I was not producing enough milk. I took some sort of herb (this was years ago and I can not remember what it was, sorry) to increase my milk production and also fed her formula. She was a little picky with the bottle so on the advice of the lactation consultant I got a really thin tube and held a bottle of formula in my lap while I was nursing. I put one end of the tube in the formula bottle and the other end in my daughter’s mouth so that when she nursed she was getting milk from me and formula from the bottle. It worked and in a month or so she was back to where she was supposed to be. She is now 8 years old and very healthy.
I wish you so much luck and am praying for you. My heart just ached as I read your story. Don’t beat yourself up….you are doing an incredible job and your little boy is lucky to have such a great mommy.
Thank you so much, Rachel. What an interesting method, with the tiny tube! Sounds like something that just might work! Thanks for the advice and for your sweet words, too. So glad that your daughter is a healthy girl. :)
xo
Oh, my sweet friend… I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I don’t have any advice except it sounds like you are doing everything that I would imagine might help. Hugs to you, you are an amazing mom and you are caring so well for your little boy. Praying this is just a little bump in his road. xo
Thank you so much, Sherri. You are so sweet to me. Hugs!
xo
Failure to thrive? That’s the most negative and ridiculous phrase! He is healthy, happy and loved he’s not failing and you certainly aren’t at all! Please don’t feel ashamed, you have done everything you can and we all need some help along the way. I couldn’t breast feed at all for medical reasons and I don’t know about in the states, but here in the UK women are under so much pressure to do so. I felt a complete failure and was made to feel it and sure, if you can breast feed it’s the best thing, but for my baby me being healthy and happy was the best thing. As hard as it seems now he will pick up. All babies grow at their own rate. The doctors were telling me that Megan was too big as a baby and toddler and now, at 12 they say doesn’t way enough! All children (and parents) need some help along the way so please don’t feel bad. Keep trying him with different foods and he will take them when he’s ready and his weight will even out I’m sure of it. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing a great job. Lots of mummy hugs to you xx
Breastfeeding is definitely a big thing here in the US, too. Sometimes I wish it weren’t so, either way. Whatever works for a mom and her baby is what should happen, and I don’t think so much pressure should be placed, on either end. It just ends in loads of people feeling awful about themselves. I love what you said- being healthy and happy is the most important thing, for both mama and baby. Lots of hugs back to you, sweet girl!
xo
i went through a very similar situation at my daughters 1 year checkup. She hadn’t gained any weight and had actually lost a little. M had started off as a large baby (8 lbs 5oz) and for the first 6 months was gaining like a champ (75%). At her 9 month appointment she was still gaining but not as much. Then at the 1 year she had lost weight and was sitting somewhere around the 11%. Like you the doctor was very concerned and asked me a ton of questions about how much and how often I was feeding her. We were still breastfeeding a lot but also incorporating what I thought was a healthy amount of solids. The doctor suspected celiac disease but all of the blood tests came back fine. Anyway they couldn’t find anything wrong and we really just rode it out. Personally I think they didn’t give enough weight to the fact that she had become very active between 9 months and 1 year ( learned to crawl and started pulling up/walking). Also, as a friend put it to me once and I really liked the analogy – some women make skim milk and some make whole milk. Apparently I make skim milk. It’s still healthy and good for my daughter.
I also felt like a failure about this but after the blood tests came back fine I just decided to trust my gut. She was fine, she was hitting all of her milestones, she’s smart I don’t think there is anything wrong. She’s now 19 months and still hasn’t hit 20lbs. The doctor doesn’t seem as concerned at this point ( and we are still breastfeeding a bit). Try to trust your instincts. Some people are just small. My husband is tall and I am short. Looks like miss M will probably be small too. Good luck and sorry for writing a book. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. :)
He did start to crawl between the two appointments, like your daughter, so I think that definitely has something to do with it. I also really like that analogy- I must make skim milk, too! ;) Thank you so much for your comment! It’s so nice to hear other’s similar stories and that your sweet daughter is healthy and happy, and to know we’re not alone in this. <3
xo
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I always blame myself whenever my girls have any sort of issue, even when it’s out of my control. Don’t blame yourself. You’re doing amazing.
I didn’t read all the comments so I apologize if I’m repeating what everyone else has said. When I was a baby I wasn’t gaining weight. They discovered that my mom was anemic and therefore I wasn’t getting enough iron. My mom had to supplement for about a month or two and I plumped right up and she was able to continue breastfeeding and stopped supplementing. I know you said they did a blood test so that’s probably not your issue, but just wanted you to know that it doesn’t have to be the end of your breastfeeding relationship.
Did Sam start crawling and becoming much more active since his last visit? Once my older daughter became mobile she stopped gaining weight as quickly.
Eating foods with a lot of good fats (nuts, avocado, etc) might help get your milk fatty. Flaxseed, Brewer’s yeast, and Ovaltine Malt as been said to increase milk supply. I know you drink plenty of water but some say Gatorade helps too.
Everything I’ve ever read said that solids before 1 year is just practice and that babies should not be getting the majority of their nutrients from that, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him not eating solids. I hope some of this info helps. There are Facebook groups for nursing moms for support and to answer questions. Good Luck. Remember doing what’s best for your baby is what makes you a great mom, and you are a great mom.
At my little one’s 9 month appointment he had only gained 1 pound since his 6 month appointment, but our doctor didn’t seem too worried about it. He didn’t really start taking solids until a month and a half ago. No matter how hard we tried he didn’t take solids. My mom was constantly pressuring me about it, but ultimately he took solids when he was ready. We were trying to give him purees of fruits and veggies and he didn’t like them, then we tried baby led weaning and it was a total change. Maybe thats something to look into and see if it works for you. We started out with soft foods like bananas or steamed sweet potato. You are doing everything you can and that’s what matters, your baby boy is happy and he will do things at his own pace :)
Oh I am lifting your sweet Sam and all your family in prayer. God has his hand on your little guy.