First, a little bit about the man behind the quotes: my hubby, Zack. He is so sweet to me. He treats me like a literal princess and he takes such good care of me. I had been so stressed the past few weeks and he came home from work on Thursday and surprised me with flowers. It’s the little things, really it is. I’ve been sick, and he has made sure to be so sweet to me and has been taking such good care of little Sam too. It’s so hard for me to not smother my boys with a million kisses, but I don’t want them to get sick too, so I’ve had to stop myself from doing so. Mark my words, when this cold goes away, the kisses will be flowing! [Picture taken before the Sickness of 2015 set in]
Another Bachelor episode in the books! In case you’re new here, I watch The Bachelor each week with my husband and write down our commentary, thus “Man Quotes.” Catch last week’s post here!
Chris: “Santa Fe really seems like the perfect place to fall in love…”
Katie: They literally say that about every place they go to.
Chris Harrison: “You’re headed to the beautiful resort town of Santa Fe, New Mexico!”
Girl: “It’s like a beach resort place.”
Zack: Beach?! It’s desert.
Some Random Girl: “I’m excited to go to New Mexico. I’ve never been out of the country.”
Zack: Uhhh… Doesn’t she wonder why she doesn’t need her passport to go to New Mexico?
Girl: “I’m so excited to be in Santa Fe, in a romantic city.”
Zack: Nothing against Santa Fe, but I don’t know. I don’t think “romance” when I think of Santa Fe.
Zack: Britt brought her hair!
Carly: “We’re going to fall in love in this place.”
Zack: Oh, man. That’s a little heavy.
Zack: …And then we walked out to this person, and realized we were just going to get our horoscopes read.
Zack: At least she brought pillows for everyone.
Katie: Nice linen shirt, Chris.
Love guru lady: “Your breath right now is a rototiller.”
Katie: Gee… How romantic.
Chris: “Turns out she’s not a love guru, she’s a sex guru. This is not what I expected!”
Katie: Yeah, uh huh, suuuure.
Zack: He booked this himself.
Zack: I think Carly is going to win the Bachelor.
Zack: Kelsey all of a sudden turned into a crazy person.
Zack: Was the dress code yoga pants?
Zack: Has she never been to a river?? Why’s she expecting dead bodies?!
Jade: “I have this condition where my body goes into hypothermia at normal temperatures.”
Zack: That’s a hell of a condition to make up to get a foot rub.
Kelsey: Ha ha ha! I am fine!
Zack: Girl, you are not fine.
Katie (when an already-eliminated girl showed up): Oh, yay. We have a desperate girl of the season.
Chris: “The Jordan I sent home a few weeks ago, I probably never would have let back…”
Katie: But I’m too nice, so I’m letting her come back.
Zack: Yesss, let her back. A Bachelor first!
Katie: Kim Kardashian girl has the best death stares.
Chris: “Hopefully they can move past their emotions and be better in the morning.”
Katie: Clearly you know nothing about women if you think they’ll just be able to move past it, like that.
: Kim Kardashian/Ashley I: “I think Chris wants a girl that’s “real.”
Katie: Um, there’s a difference between “real” and “mean girl.”
Chris: “I hope none of them sleep with baseball bats.”
Zack: Yeah, he hopes they all sleep naked.
Chris: “Britt looks just as beautiful first thing in the morning as she does all dolled up at a rose ceremony.”
Katie: …Well, it’s because she sleeps with her makeup on. She literally is all dolled up.
Casey: “Britt sleeps in her makeup. She actually puts more makeup on before bed, just in case.”
Zack: Haha, she’s smart- she’s seen the Bachelor!
Britt: “It’s like seeing the world in a way I never have before.”
Katie: Because it is.
Kelsey: “I don’t have bad news to share with you- I’m not going anywhere.”
Katie: Well, that would be good news!
Kelsey: Isn’t my story amazing? I love my story.
Katie: Wait… what?
Zack: Something isn’t right with her.
Zack: She just moved right into that kiss. Nothing like a kiss after telling a story like that…
Zack: This girl just entered into crazy land.
Random Girl We’ve Never Seen Before: “I haven’t had a one-on-one.”
Zack: Yeah, you haven’t even been on the show until now.
Britt: “Your pumps still look great.”
Katie: Wait… Her pumps? OHHH. SHOES. I instantly think breast pump whenever I hear the word “pump” now.
Mackenzie: “I’m like having tears already.”
Both of us: …….
Annnnd it’s a to be continued. Of course it is. Until next week!
indont even watch the bachelor (I know I know) but these are always so funny to me…I feel like I don’t need to watch with your recaps:) and I’m so glad things are on the up swing for you!!
YES, I love that you said that! Girllll no need to watch the show! I’ve got you covered. ;)
Oh my gosh, I did not expect Kelsey to be so crazy! She actually scares me and grosses me out with her approach (using her story to manipulate Chris…ew)
And I think it’s weird for anyone to sleep with makeup on (at least THAT much makeup, in Britt’s case)… like no guy should expect you to wake up like that. It’s not normal (at least in my opinion). Just be real! She’s probably just as pretty without it.
Whyyy TBC?! Grrr! lol
YES, Kelsey is craaayyyy cray. Like, a whole new level of crazy. And I was scratching my head trying to figure out whyyy Britt would sleep in her makeup, but then Zack reminded me that it’s actually a good idea, because she wanted to be prepared and not caught off guard if she were to be woken up in the middle of the night to go off with Chris. And surprise surprise, that’s exactly what happened! So yeah. It’s definitely not something she does in real life, but for being on the Bachelor, I have to say it was pretty smart of her! That being said, she’s totally naturally gorgeous, you can tell, so who knows why she’s that insecure about it, but hey. Whatever.
“He needs a girl that’s real”… says the girl who literally wore fake eyelashes in the hot tub.
LMAO that made me laugh so hard. But seriously!! That girl is the most fake of them all!
that is so so so sweet that he surprised you with flowers!! it really is the little things, i agreeeee with you there, lady!!!
Hahahaha! I don’t even watch the show but I always look forward to these posts.
Awww I love that you said that!! :) So glad!
Love this recap! Read it as I watched on DVR :) Sooo many questions!! How could Brit’s hair stay that perfect without showering?! And how can that girl be sooo dumb (New Mexico, out of the country?!) and the girl with the husband who died, I still feel for her but what a nut! I can’t put my finger on the winner…. I like Whitney but how could she give up fertility nursing to go to Iowa?
SERIOUSLY. I really don’t like that girl who was going on about New Mexico being out of the country. Just, like, no. Not cute, honey. I feel like he’s going to pick someone super lame and not right for him. He just seems like he has terrible judgment haha.