Another Monday, another episode of The Bachelor, and another installment of Man Quotes! As always, there are never any spoilers in these, so you can read with ease! If you missed it, read last week’s Man Quotes here. Let’s do it.
Girl: “Infinity edge pooooooool!”
-Katie can’t stop laughing-
Zack: New Zealand! Long flight home if you get the boot here!
Andi: “Wait, we’re going swimming?!”
Katie: How much of a surprise can that be? Why do you think they asked you to wear your bathing suit??
Zack: They just get there and immediately start making out.
Girl: “Is it gonna be a one-on-one or is it gonna be a group date?”
Zack: It’s gonna be a two-on-one, haven’t you seen the show?!
Andi: “I don’t want to regret not getting to know him.”
Katie: Eh, there’s not much to get to know.
Zack: Wait. He just unzipped his jacket and said “It’s a little cold.”
Andi: “I don’t care that it’s cold.”
Zack: Oh, you’re cold? Just unzip your jacket!
Kat: “He’s definitely dressed for the weather.”
Zack: What kind of observation is that? Who gives a sh*t?!
-Date is in Hobbiton-
Zack: Where’s Frodo?!
Renee: “I feel like where I am right now with Juan Pablo is where I’ve been in past relationships after 6-8 months.”
Katie: … Whoa. Your past relationships must have reallyyyy sucked.
Katie: Don’t use big words with Juan Pablo.
Juan Pablo, to Sharleen: “I understand you.”
Zack and Katie, in unison: No, you don’t.
Zack: Worst. Birthday. Ever.
-Cassandra’s age has been updated on the info bar-
Zack: 22! They updated her age! Kudos to The Bachelore technical team on that one.
Katie: Who’s that?
Zack: It’s Juan Pablo!! Who do you think it is? Jason Mesnick? Ben Flajnick?
Juan Pablo: “It was my mistake.”
Zack: That’s a back-handed apology.
Clare: “We talked it through and he apologized.”
Zack: Selective hearing, much? I never heard the word “sorry” or “apologize.”
Clare: “I appreciate that you took the time to talk to me.”
Zack: Of course he took the time to talk, what else is he going to do on a one-on-one date?!
Zack: Sweat pants dance!
Zack: So… When Chris Harrison is the Bachelor, who’s going to be Chris Harrison?
Kat: “I saw myself at the end.”
Zack: Oh, really? You must have been watching a different show.
Sharleen: “If I absolutely cannot see myself with Juan Pablo, I think it’s best that I leave.”
Zack: Well, we all think it’s best that you leave, but I don’t think you’re going to do us that favor.
In conclusion, I’m still not a fan of Juan Pablo.