It’s been 7 days. I’m still feeling numb from it all. I mean, we were there, in that room, when the world came crashing down. We were there. And he kept saying
“you’re the love of my life”
and we sobbed and I never really knew what a heart breaking felt like
or sounded like
until then.
And now I know and I really wish I didn’t know but I do and there’s no escaping it.
And she’s so beautiful, even then- she’s always beautiful
and she’s at peace and with Jesus and it’s happy to think about but so sad at the same time.
How can that be?
And I just want her back. I want her to be here, with me, with us, and it’s selfish and stubborn, but after all I got that stubbornness from her!
I just miss her, is all. And it’s already been 7 days and I feel like my heart will never stop breaking.
And I’ve been talking to her and I’ll talk to her every day of my life, because she’s my angel now.
The prettiest, sweetest angel there ever was.
And it comes in waves, this sadness and confusion. And I want to be at peace with all of this, and sometimes I am, but mostly I’m just sad right now.
And I want the little things to make me happy again. And I know they will, some day, but for now
the little things
just
aren’t
enough.
xo
2/22/13
praying and praying for your and your family. I am so , so incredibly saddened for you and hope that you find some comfort in your days. I’m just so, so sorry Katie.
I wish I knew what to say..Hang in there.
Praying for you. She is up in heaven watching over you now. I lost my grandpa last week…we were very close. The pain is so strange, but I know that he is in a better place. Thinking about you!
Praying for you Katie, and for your Dad and the rest of the family xx
Girl, I can only imagine how hard this is for you and the emotions that you are going through. She is your angel is heaven and will always be there for you. Stay strong and keep Zach and your family close :)
xoxo
Praying for you. Praying that God will comfort you the way that only He can. Praying for the peace that surpasses all understanding. Praying for the Prince of peace to fill you & your family right at this moment.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom to cancer 4 yrs ago and I know the pain all too well. I am sending my prayers your way. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and it is a daily struggle but know you are not alone.
Been thinking about you and praying for you since I read your hubby’s post. Keep your head up, you’re doing an amazing job with this blog and she’s still reading it from heaven. <3 xoxo.
XOXO Thinking of you.
oh katie, my heart aches for you. I hope that you are able to find comfort in the little things soon.
time will never make you forget, but it will help you heal. Its okay to feel hurt/sad/confused/mad.
Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins
I am so sorry for your pain, sweetie. I was 21 when I lost my precious Grammy (who raised me) to cancer. I can tell you from experience that the pain does lessen. You will never stop missing her, but it won’t hurt so much. I am praying for you. Just give it a little time – healing will sneak up on you when you least expect it. Just keep holding on to your sweet hubby and remember that you will see her again.
Thinking of you, Katie. I hope you can find some comfort in the little things soon.
XO
I just can’t imagine all the sadness you are feeling right now Katie. Thinking of you!
Praying for comfort and peace
I am too familiar with loss and the pain it brings. I am praying for you and your family.
.
Bonnie Rose | The Compass Rose
That must be such a hard time losing a parent. Especially if you are close with them.
My heart just hurts so much for you. You’re continuously in my thoughts and prayers. I am just so so sorry this has happened for reason we will never know. Try to have faith that she is and will always be looking down on you and that she’s just now your special guardian angel! Much love & prayers for you Katie.
I can’t imagine the pain your feeling :( your in my prayers!
This beautiful blog you just wrote, although sad, is exactly what I needed today! I am praying for you more than you ever know! You brought me to tears but it’s ok I needed to to shed those tears. You are being strong! It’s hard to lose someone you love so much…more than anyone will ever know…you are stronger than you know…don’t expect to move on from it this soon…but you will heal. Stay Strong!! And Thank you!!
I can’t imagine the pain that you are feeling. This was a beautiful post. xo
http://sincerelymissashley.blogspot.ca/
My heart breaks for you. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
Oh Katie, my heart is so sad for you and your family. It will take time, but the little things will make you happy again. That is so great you are talking to her everyday, that must really help. I am still praying for you all everynight. I hope peace can come to you all soon. And, it is totally not selfish at all to want her back, there is nothing else out there like a mom. Ya know?
hold on katie. hold on to His promises. pain takes time to heal, i know how it feels to want your mom back present and healthy. one day you will see her that way. free of illness and pain, free from sadness. she is already at rest but you will see her again. promise friend.
Katie~ I know how you feel. It is so hard and it will be for along time and still continue. I feel, for a daughter to lose her mother is so tough. I have brothers and I am the only daughter and when I lost my Mom, I lost my best friend. I feel it is a different feeling than what the boys felt. I miss her every day and especially when I want to know something, like…hey how did Mom do this, she never told me, or when my daughter does something, did I do that when I was little; I can’t ask her. It stinks, it really does, but you have to continue with your day to day and you know that your sweet Momma is watching over you and I am sure she is so proud of you and will always be there for you. Keep talking to her, she will listen!
Hugs, girlie!
Jodi
Oh katie dear, please know its okay to be sad. Its ok to be very sad. I am praying for you sweet girl. I am praying for peace and comfort and for God to wrap his arms around you.
Healing does happen but it can be very slow and very painful. It is OK to be sad. Feel how you need to feel whenever you need to feel it. Even 10 months after losing my best friend/soulmate, I feel like I can’t be sad b/c people are tired of seeing me sad. But they don’t understand. It is better to feel how you need to feel and remember that your mom is looking down on you. I talk to my best friend everyday, too. It helps a lot :)
I’ve never experienced loss so close to home, so I can’t say that I relate here even slightly :( But I really hope that soon God can fill the void that is there now, I hope He will be able to comfort you and send you sweet signs that your Momma is your angel watching over you every day :) I don’t know what that feels like, and I can only try to imagine how tough that might be!
I don’t know if you’ve followed the Merrick family’s story at all, but their sweet 8 year old daughter just passed away from cancer last weekend. Her dad is a pastor in SoCal and he just posted his latest sermon, and it was honestly life changing and so moving. If you get some time, and are up for it you should totally check it out…from someone who can relate to you in so many ways, he delivered the word of God SO powerfully in this sermon and maybe it’ll help comfort you too :)
http://www.realitysb.com/santa-barbara/sermons/when-sparrows-fall/
I’m still praying for ya sweet girl <3
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my Grandma (who was the rock of our family) two years ago and it still hurts my heart… but what got me through the painful time of realizing she was gone, was reminiscing with my aunts and cousins about her. Through tears and laughter we brought her back into the room and it was nice…for a few moments. I also started talking to her… I am sure my husband thought I was crazy, but it helped, just talking out loud to her and imagining what she would say back. I’ll be sending big hugs and love to you, as well as strength and happy thoughts.
http://www.confessionsofanothernbelle.com
Katie I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday!
I’ve never gone through anything like this before, so I can’t even begin to relate – I’m really sorry, Katie. Take as long as you need to be sad. Thinking of you lots. xxx
So sorry you’re going through this, Katie! It’s okay to be sad right now.
*hugs*
I have no words to explain how sorry I am for you and your families loss Katie! I will continue to pray for you, and like everyone else has said, it is okay to be sad… you’re in my thoughts! Here is a quote that I have came to agree with, with losses I have experienced:
“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott
-xo
Oh, Kelsey, what an absolutely beautiful quote. I love that, and will be tucking that away to read whenever I need a reminder. Thank you so much for sharing.
xo
Praying for you sweet girl…
Let it out.
Cry it out.
Write her a letter.
Read that letter to your husband (if you can).
Talk to her. She’s listening.
It’ll all make you feel better but it won’t make all the pain go away.
I just found your blog, and don’t know you…yet : )…but I am so very sorry for your loss! Lean on your husband, God, and continue to talk to her everyday. I can’t imagine the feeling of losing a parent so I’m not going to pretend to know what you are going through, but I do know it must be the toughest thing ever. Keep her memories alive always and just continue to live!
Xo
Whitney
Wow, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. :( I can’t even imagine how you must feel, but I am thinking about you and your family. She is always with you though and can only be certain of how proud she must be of the woman you are.
A passing of a loved one is something we never get used to , so sorry for your loss I can only imagine your pain , keeping you in my prayers .
xo Meg<3
Meghan Silva’s Blog
This is beautiful…
http://littlemisstwiggy.blogspot.com/
Katie, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your loss of your mum. I can’t even begin to imagine your pain. Keep talking to your mum, I’m sure she’s up there listening to every word.
Alicia xo