It’s been 7 days. I’m still feeling numb from it all. I mean, we were there, in that room, when the world came crashing down. We were there. And he kept saying
“you’re the love of my life”
and we sobbed and I never really knew what a heart breaking felt like
or sounded like
until then.
And now I know and I really wish I didn’t know but I do and there’s no escaping it.
And she’s so beautiful, even then- she’s always beautiful
and she’s at peace and with Jesus and it’s happy to think about but so sad at the same time.
How can that be?
And I just want her back. I want her to be here, with me, with us, and it’s selfish and stubborn, but after all I got that stubbornness from her!
I just miss her, is all. And it’s already been 7 days and I feel like my heart will never stop breaking.
And I’ve been talking to her and I’ll talk to her every day of my life, because she’s my angel now.
The prettiest, sweetest angel there ever was.
And it comes in waves, this sadness and confusion. And I want to be at peace with all of this, and sometimes I am, but mostly I’m just sad right now.
And I want the little things to make me happy again. And I know they will, some day, but for now
the little things
just
aren’t
enough.
xo
2/22/13
Jayme and Mendi
Katie, just wanted you to know that I’m keeping you in my prayers. Your posts have touched my heart and your words have been beautiful. Your mom is so, so proud of you.
My husband lost his mom two days before you lost your mom. They’re time here on Earth with us was all too short, but look at the impact that they’ve made on so many lives in the time that they were given. We now have angels holding our hearts in their hands and I believe that they will get us all through this.
“Our unspeakable loss is Heaven’s beautiful gain.”
xo ~
Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings
Katie Did What
Thank you for your prayers!! I need ‘em all and I can definitely feel them. I’m keeping you and your husband in my prayers too. I love what you said, and am holding that so close to my heart- heaven just got the most beautiful angels.
xo
Jamie
Xoxo
Chelsea
Oh my gosh. Katie. This was heartbreakingly beautiful. I felt like I was reading something that came straight from my own heart, but it was yours. And that makes my heart break even more to know you’re going through some of those same emotions.
What you said about the little things is so true. They aren’t enough. As much as you want them to be. Because, the truth is, you just lost one of the biggest things. There’s no way for the little ones to amount to her or to heal your hurt. That’s part of the loss I guess. I wish there was more that I could say but just know that I know and that somehow, in some odd way, reading what comes from your heart makes the harder days for me a little less hurtful. Keep talking to her. She’s listening :) Lots of hugs and love!!
Kristin
I’m so sorry for your loss. Is it your mom? I lost mine when I was 14, hardest thing ever. Thinking of you