I’m finding it so hard to think of the right words to say right now. I’m grasping for words to accurately describe how I feel, and I’m left speechless.
Two years is a long time and an incredibly short time all at once. Two years. How did they go by that quickly?
Two years ago was the last time I kissed my mom. Two years ago was the last time I heard her sweet voice. Two years ago feels like yesterday. But two years ago also feels a million miles away.
So much has happened in that two years. I grieved so hard. I reached such a low point. And then I experienced the most joy imaginable. And I was introduced to a whole new kind of love that I had never known before.
Two years that were filled with the highest highs and lowest lows, and now here I am left wondering how that all went by so quickly.
Because I would never give back those two years for anything, but I still want her here with every fiber of my being.
Mom, I miss your sweet soul. I miss your calming nature. I miss your hand on my brow when I’m crying. I miss your soft touch and beautiful singing. I often wonder how different life would be if you were here. It’s so hard becoming a mother without my own mother. But I know you’re in heaven and you’re watching over us. I know you’ve squeezed Sam a thousand times already. I know you are so proud of all of us. I just miss you like crazy. We all do.
And for now, I take comfort in these words…
Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
– 2 Corinthians 4:17
Bisous, Maman. Until we meet again.
xo
Katie – I don’t have the right words for this, but I’m just so sorry for your loss. You are a beautiful and intelligent person that your mother must have always been so proud of. I’m sure that you are keeping her present with everything that you do – as a person and as a mother.
Oh, sweet girl, thank you so much. Your words were perfect.
xo
As a mom myself, with an adult daughter and a little grandson I can only say we do take such joy in seeing our daughters so happy and love so much. It’s really all we want. For our daughters to be kind, generous, loved and loving people who are happy. Your mom could not be more proud. I’m so sorry you lost her so young. That kind of loss affects us each in an deeply personal way, but when you are young like that there is still so much to share. I’m glad that for the time you had her, you both loved so rich and so deep that it spills over onto Sam. Your mom taught you well.
Oh, Tess, your words brought me to tears! Thank you so much. I know she is so proud, and I know that we loved so deeply in the time that she was here. I do feel so blessed to have known her and had her for my mom for as long as I did. Thank you again.
xo
I’m so sorry :( Anniversaries have a way of making you feel the pain all over again as if it was just yesterday. Your mom would be so proud of how wonderful of a mother you are. And I’m sure she’s looking down smiling at you every day. One of the first posts I read of yours was the 1 year anniversary of her passing and so this means I’ve been reading along for over a year now. I hope you feel the best you can soon.
You absolutely nailed it on the head: anniversaries have a way of making the pain brand new all over again. I know that’s something that will never change, no matter how many years it is. Thank you so much for your sweet words. And thank you for following along my journey and blog, too- it means SO much!
xo
As always I am sending you so much love and support. This is something that is hard to understand if you haven’t been through it. <3 She is always with you.
Thank you Jen. I know you understand the pain and I appreciate your sweet words, always.
xo
Aww, girl. Your mom is so proud of you. I don’t know the right words- but your mom must have been a remarkable mother because you are! You are so strong and such an inspiration. xo
Thank you so much, girl. You are the sweetest. <3
xo
i continue to just hate this for you so so much… but i know she has got to be so proud of you from above!! hopefully she gets to see how much positivity you shine and how sweet you are as a mother!! sending love to you, beauty!
Aww thank you brittany. You always make me smile! <3
xo
I commented on your IG earlier but I wanted to comment here too. I, too, lost my mom to cancer, but 12 years ago now. I was only 18. She never got to see me graduate college, get married, or have my son. I felt cheated and robbed. But then I realized, she was here with me all along. She was seeing everything and shining down on me from heaven. The good ones are always taken from us too early but they aren’t too far from us… watching over us everyday. Thinking of you and your family. xo
I love what you said, Elizabeth. I’m so sorry that you have to experience this pain, too. But you’re absolutely right- our moms are always watching out for us. I hate that life is so unfair, though. Hugs and love to you.
xo
This post breaks my heart. I am sorry you lost your Mom. I know she would be proud of you. You seem like a strong, caring, beautiful woman. Im not sure loss ever gets easier. <3
Thank you so much, Brittany. No, it never gets easier, but reading encouragement and knowing she’s with me definitely helps. <3
xo
So sorry for your loss. But lifting prayers up for you and your family!
Thanks, sweet girl!
xo
My heart aches for you, and I can’t even imagine the pain that comes with losing a mother. Sending lots of love and prayers your way!
It is the deepest pain I’ve ever known. Thank you for your love and prayers- I so appreciate them! <3
xo
Oh, sweet friend. I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel, but I know the pain and fear I have been going through with my mom’s diagnosis and treatment. I do know, however, that she’d be immensely proud of you and how you’ve started your little family. I’ll be thinking of you and yours! xoxo
Thank you so much, girl. <3
xo
The five year anniversary of my mom’s death is coming up next month. :( Sending you lots of love and hugs, friend. <3 <3 <3
Ugh, anniversaries are just the worst. I’ll be sending you lots of love, too, sweet girl.
xo