Dear Mom, we did it. We went to your grave for the first time. We needed to be with you on your birthday, in whatever form we could be. We brought some pretty roses from the yard- roses that you planted- and laid them on your grave. And it was emotional. And it was hard. And it was oddly comforting. And I cried so hard. And I felt God with me so strongly. And Zack held me tight. And Aunt Julie read a beautiful prayer to dedicate your grave. And we went to lunch afterward and laughed, but there was a definite feeling of loss in that group that day. And the rest of the day I was a mess. I mean, it comes on so strongly sometimes and I just can’t stop it. And I just miss you, is all.
Dear Les Miserables, you brought me to tears (as you always do). You moved me, you filled me with hope. I absolutely adored you. Of course, nothing will ever match the magnificence of watching the original Broadway performance, but the movie did a pretty damn good job. Also, my aunt gave me the DVD, so, you know. Now I can watch it on the daily. :) :)
Dear Zack, I am still convinced that you love Les Mis, you just don’t know it yet. I knew the constant singing was going to be an issue for you, but the story! THE STORY. It’s just too good to be denied. Thanks for trying, at least, and sitting there with me during the movie, even if you kept saying things like this: “These two would have an easier time being secretive if they would just whisper instead of singing loudly.” Yeah. You just don’t get it.
Dear Weekend, it’s time to get our wine-tasting on tomorrowww! We’re headed up the hill to a winery BBQ/luncheon for a club my dad is member of, and you’d best believe I will be instagramming the fun times that are to come. The wine will be a-flowing and the BBQ will be a-cookin’ and I will be one happy little panda. Then Sunday is dinner with the in-laws! Yay!
p.s. I’m over at Much Love, Illy today for her new “Man Behind the Camera” series, loving on my man, pretty much the easiest/my favourite thing to do. Go check it out! :)
Any fun plans for the weekend?
Did you see Les Mis? Like it? Love it? Not so much?
Any other men-folk not fans of musicals? It can’t just be mine, right?
xo
(linking up with Ashley)
Not too much planned for my weekend. Other than going to my 12 year old brother-in-law’s soccer game. :) I haven’t seen Les Mis. I read the book in high school. My man hates musicals too, probably why I haven’t watched Les Mis yet. I’ll be praying for you this weekend, especially on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day won’t be the easiest day for me either. Enjoy your wine tasting!!
Aww that sounds like a fun weekend activity! :) I love going to soccer games! I haven’t read the book, only seen the musical live (best thing EVER) and a few of the movies! Thank you for your prayers, sweet girl <3
xo
Your strength after losing your mom is beautiful. It’s wonderful that you have so many amazing memories of her, and so much family to remember her by.
Also, Les Mis. Loved the movie! My husband didn’t get it either…when we went to see it, I told him it was a musical. I didn’t tell him they sang the entire time, or how long it was. Oops! The music is just divine!
Thank you so much, girl. Strength is a funny thing, but really, I have no other choice! That’s how I see it. And as for Les Mis, yes. Best. Music. EVER.
xo
I’m glad you could visit your mom’s grave on her birthday. Those flowers are just lovely.
It seemed like the right thing to do. And I agree- they were perfect for her: lovely :)
xo
you are so courageous friend. i am really amazed at your beautiful attitude in the midst of it. i have yet to watch les mis, and i have to be honest, the constant singing in movies sometimes annoy me, but i hear the story itself it’s amazing so it makes me curious. have fun wine tasting!
Aw thanks Leah. I don’t see myself as courageous at all, but you’re sweet to say so. The story of Les Mis is really amazing, plus I am obsessed with the music in it so it doesn’t bug me one bit. BUT. If you really don’t like musicals, I would suggest checking out the Liam Neeson version from 1998. It’s the movie version of Les Mis and is amazing!
xo
Your words are so pure! Sending all my love and support your way. Thank you for sharing!
Aw you’re so sweet, girl. Thank you <3
xo
No plans, just relaxing :)
Honestly I’m not a fan of the book or movie, I just couldn’t handle how big the book was or handle the singing lol.
My boyfriend on the other hand, will sing along sometimes if he knows the words hehe :)
Have fun this weekend:)
Haha yeah I have yet to read the book, but I just LOVE the story and the music :) Check out the Liam Neeson movie of Les Mis! No music! It’s pretty amazing.
xo
I just stumbled upon your site and your letter to my mom brought a tear to my eye…I honestly could not imagine, but it seems you know God is by your side and will help you to continue to find strength, love, and peace.
Aw so glad you found me! And thank you so much for your sweet comment. It means a lot <3 God is always by my side!
xo
Sending you love this weekend <3
Thanks sweet girl <3
xo
Oh Katie! I wish we could have gone to the grave site with you … and hugged … and cried … and laughed together. Josh doesnt talk much about your mom. I dont want to push him but I hope he’s ok. Your grandpa sent us some money to “do something fun in remembrance of Michelle.” So Josh has decreed we’re going to see the Tampa Bay Rays play the Yankees :) Have fun with your Dad wine tasting. I know he will enjoy having you two around :) LOVE YOU!!!
Oh, gosh, I cry all the time. It’s pathetic. I wish you guys could have been there, too! Yeah, Grandpa sent us the same. It was so thoughtful of him, and totally unexpected! How fun that you’re going to a baseball game!! That’s awesome. LOVE YOU!!!!
xo
You did it, you visited your mom. You are stronger than you think. :)
Hope you have a wonderfully fabulous weekend!
xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
YES, that’s what my aunt and I said to each other- we did it! :) Thanks, sweet girl for your encouragement <3
xo
I FINALLY watched Les Mis last weekend…I cried…like multiple times. So good. Your letter to your mom brought tears to my eyes. There are no words…just prayers for you and your family. xoxo
Wasn’t it so good?! And thanks for your prayers, sweet girl!
xo
You are so strong, lady. So proud of you and so inspired by you. Praise the Lord for allowing His Spirit to be there at the graveside so much with you. Wow. Praying today. <3
Oh, sweet girl, thank you thank you. All prayers are so much needed <3
xo
Hi Katie! I’m new to your blog, found you through Friday’s Letters! I’m so so sorry about your mom. I can’t even imagine. Your letter to her brought me to tears. What a strong person you are, and I’m glad you got to spend time with her on her birthday in one form or another!
LOVE LES MIS!
Such a cute blog! New follower :)
Aw thanks sweet girl! I’m glad you found me! Your comment made me smile!
xo
I’m so glad that you went to see your Mom! I know she was watching you all and was with you. :)
Aw you’re sweet :) I just know she was!
xo
What a beautiful picture of you visiting your mom. I’m sure she was loving on you the whole time <3
You make me want to watch Les Mis! Anne Hathaway is one of my faves so it must be meant to be :-)
Aw thank you <3 Yes yes watch it! You won't regret it!
xo
Oh sweet girl, am so sorry that you lost your mom. I am sure you have talked about it before, but if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to her? I am sure this weekend will be tough, so I hope you make the most of it at the wine tasting. Thinking of you and sending hugs!!
Thanks Shanna. She had metastatic breast cancer (meaning it had returned after being cancer-free for 12 years) that had spread to her liver. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 years ago and she finally couldn’t fight it any longer. She’s with Jesus now, though, and no more CANCER!
xo
That was beautiful about your mom!
I am incredibly jealous that you get to go wine tasting this weekend! I’ve been wanting to go for the longest time ( only 16 weeks left lol)
Aw thanks girl. Soon enough you will get some wine, too!! :) You’re so close!
xo
That was so precious with your mom. When I read that I could feel the love.
I’m super jelly about your wedding. Drink some wine & eat some BBQ for me, but mostly wine ;)
-L
Aw thanks girl. I will most definitely be enjoying the wine tomorrow!! :)
xo
Oh Katie tears are rolling down my face right now as I read this. You are so amazingly strong and I am beyond sorry for the loss of your mom. Thinking of you this weekend!
Speaking of which… what winery are you going to? We are going up to Amador tomorrow afternoon to a winery event at Borjon. I don’t think it starts until 6:00 though…
Thanks sweet girl. Means a lot <3 We're going to Cooper Vineyards! And yeah it's an afternoon thing, but we'll also be going to other wineries! Maybe we'll see you around?! :)
xo
Yeah! We’re going to Borjon but might head up early. Not sure how many we can hit up with The Love Nugget in tow :-)
Ooh never been to that one! Well, maybe we’ll go there too, who knows?! haha depends on how crazy my dad’s feeling ;) Have fun girl!!
xo
I’m glad you got to spend time with your mom on her birthday =) I am constantly praying for you beautiful girl!
Thanks girl, that means so much to me <3
xo
It makes me happy to know that you have your wonderful hubby to be there with you when you need him most! :) And I am glad that you felt God’s love and comfort yesterday when you needed it most!
As for Les Mis, Ron is a huge fan! Prob partly because he read the book and loved the story line, as for me it was good. But there was a lot of singing!! Good performance and acting, and I did enjoy it more towards the end.
Read your post on Ilene’s blog, super cute!!
And have a great weekend, sounds like it’s gonna be a great weekend!
xo,
Shio
Shio, you’re a doll. That’s so cool that your husband loves les mis, too! Hope you have a great weekend, friend!
xo
That is such a cute picture of you two and I feel the SAME way about Les Mis, but Drew just doesn’t get it! He can’t get past all the singing dang it!
Aw thanks girl! Haha yeah, silly boys, just don’t get the beauty of the music!!
xo
Not a busy weekend for me! Just working! I saw the IG picture you posted on yoru way to wine tasting, you are too cute! As always, I am inspired by you and your family’s strength through all that has happened, and I admire you for how you have stood strong! I can’t imagine how hard it is, and I know you have your bad days, but that is expected…I know your momma is so proud of your Katie! :)
Xo, Kelsey
Aww thanks girl! :) It’s the hardest thing but I have to be strong- I have no other choice! Your sweet words made me smile! <3
xo
Unfortunately, I’ve never seen Les Mis. I borrowed it from my in-laws, so I have it to watch, I just haven’t because I know Matt won’t like it. He’s not a fan of musicals lol.
Haha yeah, boys just don’t get it, for the most part. Oh well, I think you’ll love it! I did :)
xo
I adore you girlie. Glad you got to be with your family on your mama’s birthday so you could all be there for each other. The strength in your family is really beautiful.
I have yet to see Les Mis and I don’t know if I will be able to make it through. I like musicals and yet sometimes they make me insane. I’ll let you know what I think once I watch it!
Have you seen the older version of Les Mis with Liam Neeson? There’s no singing, and it’s phenomenal!
xo
As always, I’m in tears after reading your little letter to your mom. I know exactly how you felt. It’s comforting to be there yet so, so hard because you wish you didn’t have to be there to visit her. You feel her with you but all you want is to HAVE her with you. I’m so glad you had family around you to hold and hug and cry with. You are so loved and so strong and honest. I just love you.
EXACTLY. You get it. I just love you girl!
xo