It’s time for some real talk. I realized, so many blogs and Instagrams (mine included) only show the good, the perfect shots, the fun moments, the happiness. They don’t show the real life side. They don’t show the frustrations of everyday life. That’s nice and all, but life isn’t like that. Life is messy and scary and annoying sometimes. Life is not even close to anything that could be considered “perfect,” for anyone. We all have our moments we regret. We all have our bad days. And I think it’s important to talk about these days, too. I think it’s important to not paint a portrait of perfection, because that’s a dangerous thing. It sparks jealousy and comparison. It sparks bad feelings and guilt. I never want anyone to think my life is perfect. I never want anyone to think I have it all together. I never want anyone to compare their life to mine and feel less than. Beacuse I’ve done that with others, and it isn’t right. It’s a lie. One big, fat, evil LIE.
This particular day, those pretty pictures I just posted above? Ooh, if only you could have been there to see what was really happening. Sam was SO squirmy. He wanted nothing to do with being in my arms or holding my hand. He wanted to go-go-go! He wanted to chase the geese and book it away from us. He was whiney and irritable, which thus made me become the same. I was a real peach this day, you guys, let me tell you. By the end of this little pond visit, I was upset, annoyed and sweaty from chasing after him. What was supposed to be a fun family outing to the pond ended up being anything but.
And that sucks.
After these photos were taken, I had a good cry in the car because I felt completely overwhelmed (and also, those pregnancy hormones are making me cry at everything these days). I was questioning how I’m ever going to manage with another baby when I can’t even handle one with grace some days. I was completely caught in the trap of comparison and “perfection.”
So I am pledging right here, right now, to accept this messy and imperfect life for everything it is. I’m trying to remember to be easier on myself, to roll with the punches, not stress so much and to enjoy life, however it comes, because every day is a new adventure- fun or not so much. And getting frustrated or expecting it to be something that it isn’t, only makes it that much less fun. I’m pledging to stop when I start to feel upset, and take some deep breaths, ask God for grace, and let it go. Getting grace from God is a no-brainer. That’s what He does. But I need to be good to myself, too. I need to give myself grace.
This is a work in progress.
I am a work in progress.
So refreshing to read. I find that my Instagram tends to only show happy, fun moments, but my blog keeps it much more real. I think that’s why I love my blog so much. It’s the place I go to admit my faults and share my whole life, the good and the bad. Sometimes, I wonder if my moments of realism are the reason I don’t have many readers or comments, but then I remember that my blog is FOR ME and it’s okay to write things for my sake only.
Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries
Love this reminder! I can totally relate to your feelings of adding another one into your life too. Sending hugs and prayers your way!
This post just made my day 10x better. Thanks for the great reminder. Blogs like yours keep me happy, healthy, and constantly inspired! :)
Sorry if I seem like a creeper on your blog haha I find myself commenting a lot on here, but it is just because I can relate SO much to what you write lately! This post is perfect. I find myself questioning my mom moments the most because all my friends post these beautiful happy pictures and I am over here like, “uh, I just yelled at my 2 year old for the 20th time today, and my 10 month old is in that clingy phase, and I don’t want to be around both these days”. How terrible is that? And then I feel like a crap mom because every blog/mommy friend is posting all these happy things ALL THE TIME. But like you showed, none of us know what happened before and after that perfect picture!
Ps. You are doing great!!
I am totally guilty of comparing myself to others(specially on instagram) too many times! This is one of the reasons I love your blog so much, You keep it real and that’s something not everyone can do these days :) I’ve learned to take it one day at a time with my baby boy, and that will save your sanity OH and also coffee!
So so so true, mama! we all have days like this. But the best part is that each day is a fresh start. Oh my gosh, some nights I’m just so happy when Beau goes to sleep cause I’ve been overwhelmed and within about 30 minutes I miss him. Motherhood its the craziest roller coaster of emotions. I love the idea of a work in progress….such a refreshing perspective!
We have all had many of these days! My children are 12, 10, and 6. Now when my kids act up, I tell them I can’t even blame it on the terrible 2’s. My oldest says to blame it on the terrible tweens! All we as moms can do is get through, learn how we can do things differently next time, and start again the next day. Good luck and congrats! You can use this day as a reason for payback when you embarrass the tween Sam in the future! :)
Ahhhhh! I needed this more than ever right now! I definitely had one of those “I can’t do this mom thing” days this weekend and there were tears and frustration and and agruing with my husband and all that messy stuff.
Thanks for being a perfectly imperfect human!!
Definitely how I feel some days too! My son hates being held still for pictures. He’s nine months old and just wants to crawl every where! The moment you try to restrain him, he becomes a nightmare. Hence, a lot of the time when I post a family selfie on my blog he’s usually crying or making a very obvious angry face but at the end of the day, no one’s life is perfect so hey I’ll take those miserable photos and try to make the best of them! :) Looks like you’re doing the same and regardless of how upset you might have felt, I’m sure one smile from your son melted it all away! You’re a rock star!
You’re going to do absolutely wonderful = remember all the good moments outweigh the hard and bad ones.
Thank you for keeping your blog real <3
The comparison game sucks but it’s SO hard not to do sometimes, especially as a parent. My little guy seems pretty advanced but every time I see another little one around his age doing something he doesn’t, I get all “why can’t my baby do that?” It’s crazy how fast those thoughts pop up. I, for one, love the real posts where peoples kids are going crazy or things just aren’t going the right way. I like following people who do this every now and then! Keep it up mama, you’re doing great! Never forget that :)
When I saw you post about this on IG earlier, I knew I wanted to come read your post. Honestly, I LOVE when bloggers do a post like this. I love it because it makes everyone seem so much more relatable and real. Not that people aren’t real, but like you said, we tend to share the good only, the perfect pictures, and the fun adventures that we go on. And that’s fine, but that’s only half the story. We are all moms, regular people, doing our best and constantly compare ourselves to the perfect we see in everyone else’s pictures but the reality is, that’s not reality! Or full reality. Like I said, I like to keep things happy and light on my blog too, but I recently shared that my son was recently diagnosed with autism and all the struggles that has brought me. I try to stay positive and always see the good, but I’m not perfect and I am sad and break down sometimes, and I wanted to express that. Sometimes we just have to share what’s on our heart, whether it be happy or sad. Thank you for this post! You are an amazing mom, doing her best, and that is perfect!
Thank you for this reminder, Katie! You said it perfectly & I couldn’t put it in better words myself.
Love this! So true. Life will get a little (okay a lot) crazier with two, but it’s so great too. There’s a fair amount of “mom! Why does she get the blue cup? I wanted the blue cup!”, but then, the 4yo will “chase” the 1 year old and then they both dissolve into giggles and it just makes me get all warm and fuzzy to know they will have a friend for life with each other.
I find myself in this trap everyday! Especially when starting something new, something established, comparison is inevitable. I am trying my very hardest to not base my life and my work on what someone else has done (especially if they have years of experience to my one). Thank you so much for this insight. It was DEFINITELY needed today! ☺️
Amen sister this brought a tear to my eye and so very true that social media really can portray a type of “unreality”. Thank you for your honesty and it just makes you more beautiful!
Thank you for your transparency. Perfection is simply an illusion and I cannot tell you how much more I admire reality.