This job of being a stay-at-home-mom is a lonely one. You wake up with your baby. You go on walks with your baby. You make food for yourself and your baby. You play peek-a-boo in the living room, read books on the bed and snuggle up on the couch.
Just you and your baby.
The days are filled with silence and blank stares. You spend time talking to someone who can’t talk back. Some days you feel you’ve gone mad for simply talking to yourself. We’re talking full-on conversations with the best little listener you’ll ever know.
This job is a rewarding one. You get that big grin and those sweet baby giggles in return. You get to spend every day forming an unbreakable bond with your baby. You get to watch how he reacts to the world, how he grows and learns and changes every single day, in every instant. You get to be the one who teaches him right from wrong, who spends the long days and the short years by his side. It’s you.
It’s all you.
…This is the beginning of an article I recently wrote for mom.me.
And then come back and let me know what you thought…
xo
p.s. I also wrote an article sharing some crazy things women have been told or asked while breastfeeding. Hilarious, sad, just plain ridiculous- it’s all there! ;)
You took the words right out of my mouth! It can be SO lonely, but making other SAHM friends can help so much. A good friend of mine just recently moved back to my hometown and we have playdates once a week. That has helped me SO much! Community really is the best thing.
Aww I love that! Playdates are so fun- and not just for the kids! ;)
xo
I was SO lonely when I first became a mom. My husband deployed again for a year 10 days after our son was born…that first year of motherhood was filled to the brim with learning experiences. Once I started to make friends with other moms and attend playgroups, my mood improved immensely. But it still can be very isolating.
Oh my gosh, I can’t even imagine how tough that must have been on you. You are SO strong!!!
xo
Love, love, love this article!! I’m two months away from being a SAHM and know that I’ll need advice like this. Thank you! :)
http://www.lifeonshadylane.com
Aw thank you so much! Congrats on your baby, too! :)
xo
this is most definitely true! My oldest is three, and it wasn’t until last year that I got involved in a local MOPS group, and I love it! I’m very introverted and shy, but having babies automatically gives me something to talk to other moms about. Finding mom friends can be a lot like dating, but we all want those friendships- so definitely talk to that other mom you see at the park or library!
Aw I love MOPS! I’ll be joining one this year, too, and am so looking forward to it! :) It’s such a great idea. And I am totally shy, too, but you’re right: babies kind of take that shyness right away!
xo
I agree with you! I remember walking around my one-room apartment having a running one-sided conversation with my first. It does get better as they get older – now I have three little chatter boxes who ask “why?” about everything so I have to watch what I mumble to myself. :) But yeah, being a mom can be lonely, which is why having mom friends and a mom’s group is awesome.
Aww I just love little kids and their curiosity and the hilarious things they say! I’m pretty excited to have conversations with Sam! :)
xo
I envy you right now. I would love to stay home.. for a few days. haha
Haha! I think it’s kind of a “grass is always greener” thing- there are definitely things to envy from all sides! :)
xo
Couldn’t agree more! It can be sooo lonely. We do our best to get out of the house all the time and talking to all the mamas and the babies at the park and the beach! Fresh air, sunshine, and human interaction works miracles!
YES, amen to that! Fresh air, sunshine and human interaction. The recipe for happy mamas everywhere! ;)
xo
oh i totally relate, girlfriend!! after i had maddalena, i remember being SO happy to spend every second with her, but at the same time… so lonely! especially once winter months came and we were stuck home a lot! i will say, though, the second time around has not been quite so lonely… it’s still nice out so we can get out of the house… but alsooo it’s just busier! plus, having a three year old there is no shortage of conversation… and sam will get there soon enough!! i’ll say, too, i feel like SUCH a dork, but i am totally grateful for the blogging community and other bloggy mamas!! that helps me so much!!
YES. I am SO grateful for this blogging community as well!!! It really helps those feelings of isolation, especially when it’s impossible to get out (bad weather, no car, etc). Totally agree!
xo
Can I be honest? To me, this is one of the scariest parts of having kids. I am on a week long break with grad school and I feel like I’ve been going crazy without seeing people during the day. And I can’t imagine feeling that loneliness AND having to care for a sweet, fragile little one. Your advice is spot-on, and I hope all the SAHM moms out there heed it!
Haha don’t be scared, girl!! It’s a challenge, but definitely one that is not impossible to overcome! :)
xo
I never really realized how lonely staying at home with a baby can be. I’m fortunate enough that I get to take an entire year of paid maternity leave and as much as I would love to stay at home with my son forever, part of me is really looking forward to some adult conversations with my co-workers again. Quite a few of my friends had babies right after me but there are days when I feel bad asking them to hang out…again…because I feel like I might be bothering them but holy sometimes you just need someone to answer you when you ask a question or tell a story! Haha I applaud all stay at home moms because it can definitely be a lonely world if you don’t put yourself out there to other parents! Great article!
Carly http://www.frecklesandcheeks.com
Wow! that is AMAZING that you get a year paid maternity leave!! Your job is doing it RIGHT. :) Thanks so much for your sweet comment!
xo