We were driving down the 5. Well, he was driving. I was in the passenger seat, window down, hair blowing, sunglasses shielding my eyes to hide the tears. The sun was shining through the clouds, making the most beautiful rays of light and shapes in the sky. And I was crying. And this song was playing.
What’s left to lose/ you’ve done enough/ and if you fail well then you fail, but not to us/ cus these last 3 years, I know they’ve been hard/ But it’s time to get out of the desert and into the sun/ even if it’s alone…
And I’m not alone. Not at all, and not ever. I know that so well. I have thrown myself into situations where I could absolutely feel 100% alone in this great big world, where I could easily be swallowed up by the massiveness of it all. But I’ve never felt alone, because I know I have never been alone. Take away everything tangible, and you’re left with something beautiful and great. I love the feeling that God is always always with me, no matter what happens, no matter how lost I feel in this world sometimes. God is ALWAYS on my side. He’s my strength and my courage and He is holding my hand every step of the way.
And sometimes, when the weather is just so lovely, and I’m at the perfect place with the perfect person, and I step outside of my bubble and think about this amazing gift that God has given me, and the right song is playing on the radio, sometimes when everything aligns, I just feel so full, so full that I could burst, and that’s what happened. I was so full of happiness I could have fallen over from the weight of it. Only, I was sitting down, and maybe that’s a good thing.