This weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Last week, I was telling Zack that I wanted to really be purposeful in our days, and especially to actually treat the weekend like a weekend, which with our schedules and working from home most days can be quite the challenge! It’s so easy to let the days come in and go out and follow the same routine for each one, but the weekend should be sacred. The weekend should be a time to shift the schedules around, sleep in, eat breakfast in bed, go on adventures outdoors, and so on. Well, on Saturday night Zack took my little suggestion to heart and after Sam went down for a nap, we took our dinner outside and enjoyed the perfect weather of a late summer’s day. We ate our turkey tacos and cheers-ed to summer and talked about life and it. was. the. best. Zack starts teaching again next week, so this was like our little farewell to summer. It was a good ‘un. I’m pretty fond of that man I married.
I posted this on my Instagram, but I wanted to write about it here too. As a parent of an infant, sleep becomes this magical thing that you are constantly in search of, and of which you never have enough. It’s this mystical being that you are constantly reading books on and Googling absurd things like “Why won’t my baby sleep through the night?” and “Is my baby broken??” No, seriously. Is my baby broken? Especially when you read these obnoxious things on forums (stay away from the forums!) that rave about how “my baby has been sleeping 12 hours straight since he was 2 weeks old!” and etc. And okay. Hey, that’s great if that’s you. But it ain’t us, and I have an inkling it ain’t the majority of people. And lately, I guess this lightbulb just kind of clicked, when I was looking through my Instagram photos, as I’m wont to do, of Sam when he was just a fresh new little tiny bébé and I mean, he still is, he’s only 4 months old! But you know how it is. When he was still wrinkly and had that completely newborn look about him and we could hold him in one arm without feeling any sort of strain whatsoever. Le sigh. Anyway. I was looking at those pictures and already thinking “Oh em gee, my baby is not a newborn anymore!” -sob, sob- and thinking wistfully of those early days, and then I told myself to snap out of it. And I realized that I need to make myself snap out of it more often. Stop the Google searches for how to make my baby get to sleep, and stop the stress over whether I’ll ever get a full night’s sleep again, and to just STOP all of it.
Stop trying to change things. Stop trying to rush things.
Because, here’s the thing about babies: they grow up. They grow up into bigger babies, and then toddlers, and then little PEOPLE. I know, this is news to you. ;) But really. Stop and enjoy the moments. Because they are fleeting, and “this too shall pass,” and smell those damn roses, okay? So that’s what I’m doing. I’m not stressing over every little thing. I’m enjoying the moments, whatever they may be, and making the best out of them. I’m creating my own sunshine.
All this to say, Saturday night was one such night where Sam treated bedtime as purely a nap, and was awake an hour after going down, and instead of turning to Google, or one of the 50 bajillion sleep books out there, or stressing myself out over what we did wrong in the “schedule,” I picked up my beautiful baby and looked him in his big blue eyes and smiled. And we sang. We danced. We giggled. We had a family selfie photo shoot. And you know what? It was fun. It was silly. It wasn’t a big deal that he wasn’t in bed yet. And then you know what’s even more? He fell asleep not an hour later, and stayed asleep for the night. And it was way more fun than anything I’ve read in any stupid book. And that was our weekend. And if you ask me, it was perfect.
xo
There used to be many a night when I would be so frustrated with a sleep schedule (or lack there of)! I would love to go back to that! Now my daughter is about to start preschool and yes of course she sleeps through the night. Like you said. It goes too fast.
Aww I still can’t quite imagine wanting to go back to these sleepless nights! ;) But isn’t that always the way it goes. I’m trying to enjoy each moment!
xo
Zack and you are cute!
Thanks! :)
xo
Well this was just sorta perfect. Sounds like an incredible weekend!
Aww thanks Natalie :)
xo
That last paragraph just made me so happy. I’m happy to see you enjoying the little moments, I’m happy to see you’re not stressing anymore :). Stress can be a huge health problem { I faced bad health problems not to long ago because of it }, so to see someone kick it to the curb, well that just puts a smile on my face :)
Stress is SO unhealthy, and I’m happy I’m doing whatever I can to keep it out of my life! So glad to hear you’re doing the same! :)
xo
i love this i love this!!! because i totally relate. people are OBsessed with babies sleeping through the night, but that’s such a tough standard to set for new moms, because um, well, yes we’re tired!! but unless you have one of THOSE babies [the, “our baby just started sleeping all night right at 6 weeks! crazy!” yeah we have friends with one of those haha!] it is not realistic, i seriously, really don’t think! i mean, i wake up during the night a lot of times and i have been “sleep training” for 27 years, haha!! plus, they say breastmilk digests in about 2.5 hours and it’s completely normal for them to wake up for more, and oh my stars, did maddalena make sure to never miss a boob sesh as an infant!! i decided to keep the same perspective as you are, and i am SO glad! this too shall pass! it does! :) maybe not at the exact speed that you would prefer, but it goes the way it goes for a reason. your long-term bond with sammy sam will probably just be that much stronger from all the little moments you chose to hold him, bleary eyed, but finding the joy in it. i look at my *twooo year old,* oh my g, and i am so so happy i gave her my everything right from the start, because i know that i got the most i could out of her being a newborn, and an infant, and now she’s a toddler, and i’m able to absolutely love it for what it is, still being sentimental about her babyhood, but really not needing to turn back the clock. i thought i’d be sad when she wasn’t a baby anymore, but it all just keeps getting better and better. smell your roses, beauty, and do what’s right for you and your little fam!!! oh oh oh and i say, don’t worry about bedtime. it’s not worth spending all that time trying to get them to sleep when you could be playing! sorry this is such a rambley caffeine comment ha!
THANK YOU!!! It’s always nice hearing other mom’s similar experiences! Sam definitely sounds like Maddalena in that he never ever misses a boob sesh either, ha! ;) I love your outlook on everything. I’m definitely done worrying about bedtime, too. As long as he gets enough sleep then I’m happy, whenever and however it happens!
xo
Could not have said it better. Every baby is different. Every set of parents is different. Just do you and do whatever it is that keeps you sane. :) you are doing GREAT!
YES, I love that! We’re all different, and it’s high time we stop trying to compare- that just makes us all miserable! ;)
xo
I want someone to remind me of this when we start having kids. It’s easy for me to say I’ll remember, but I know when I’m sleep deprived and exhausted, I will find myself praying for the days of sleeping through the night to arrive. But I don’t want to wish the time away any faster than I know it already goes!
Oh, and you guys are seriously the cutest little family in the world. Seriously, you’re adorable!
That’s the lightbulb that went on for me: not wanting to wish this fleeting time away! Because it really does go fast! And you’re the sweetest. :)
xo
Love your attitude my friend! I was a sleep nazi with Hunter, but I have a feeling I’m going to need a little bit more of a relaxed mindset when #2 happens in the future. You are my inspiration! ;) Glad you guys had a wonderful weekend. I agree – weekends are great for getting out of routines and soaking in quality time with one another.
Haha sleep nazi- reminds of the soup nazi from Seinfeld. ;) “NO SLEEP FOR YOU!” only… the opposite…
xo
I LOVE that you guys just decided to dance the night away. How fun :) baby probably just had a little more energy to spare. That’s all.
That’s exactly it! He just wasn’t quite ready to have his day be over yet :)
xo
So great to see you guys so happy! I have my toddler twins and yes it never finishes (and we are just starting). I have just decided to enjoy myself with the girls and that’s that. Headaches gone! I actually just wrote a post on how I keep my cool or as I like to call it: I Keep Keep Myself High! We must rely on most anything healthy to keep us focused.
Isn’t it amazing how much better you feel just by changing your mindset a little?! Good for you!!! I’m sure everyone is happier now! :)
xo
You are so right, and so sweet. Avery is almost two and I’m sometimes longing for those nights where she would wake up needing one of us. Love your attitude of just taking it how it is, and enjoying it :)
P.S your family photo shoot is adorable & the one of Zack standing Sam up.. that smile. OH MY!
Okay you are seriously the sweetest person ever!!! :) It’s hard to imagine wanting these sleepless nights back, but I definitely get it when you put it like that!
xo
That first picture of Sam is just adorable!
Thanks! :) I just love his little stretching face!
xo
I know what you mean! This baby is getting SO big SO fast! My little 4 lb newborn has almost doubled her weight in these 2 short months!!! Trying so hard to take it all in! Wish these days could last forever!
Awww yay, grow baby, grow! :) It’s so important for us to just take it all in, as hard as it is sometimes!
xo
I needed this so much Katie. I’ve been in tears since Olivia was born about how big Brady looks now. My first born is HUGE. 2 weeks ago not so much. I’m litterly savoring every moment of newborn olive even when I feel too exhausted to open my eyes. Like right now;) your a greAt writer!
Aw sweet girl, I definitely understand! I know I’ll be the same when I have baby #2! I just love little Olive- and her name! So so pretty!!
xo
This is exactly what I needed. My little girl is 6.5 months and still waking in the middle of the night and I’m exactly like you. Googling, reading books, trying to search where I went wrong and how I can be more successful as a mom. (And I want to punch every person who is all oh my baby has slept through the night since day one.). And finally I’m just letting it be. Because I know nothing is wrong with her and she’s loved and happy and so what if he doesn’t want to sleep thru the night. When I have to wake up with her she’s so happy to see me when I hold her and no one can take that away. It’s frustrating but like you say it’s not forever. It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone in this boat though. God made coffee for a reason right :)
Hahaha omg YES, I have felt that urge to punch those people, too! ;) You are definitely NOT alone and you are NOT doing anything wrong!!! And amen amen amen to the coffee. ALL OF THE COFFEE. :)
xo
I love this post! I’m not a mum and far from it but this post was so relatable for me. Thanks for the reminder to ‘smell those god damn roses’ hehe.
Aw I’m glad it was relatable! Here’s to smelling those roses, whatever situation we find ourselves in! ;)
xo