This Christmas was different than the others. This was the first Christmas without my mom. And it was just as hard as I thought it would be. And it was just as strange as I expected. And I’m coming to grips with the solid fact that things will just never be the same again. That’s the way it is. That’s just life. And yes, that empty chair was blatantly obvious. No one had to say anything about it- her missed presence was felt with every fiber of our being. But in the smallest moments, I also felt her presence with us. In our laughter, in our smiles, in the spirit that is impossible to escape this time of year, no matter how hard you might try to fight it. She was there. She’ll always be there.
With that being said, this Christmas really was a good one. I feel like we packed so much into this short season, mostly on purpose so as to keep busy and keep my mind off of being sad, but we really had fun. I feel so blessed to have such a great family, an amazing husband who keeps me smiling no matter what (it’s uncanny how he really just instinctively knows when I need a good laugh) and the sweetest friends. My life is far from perfect, but it’s still a good one and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wanted to share a few of the highlights from Christmas 2013. My heart is full (as is my tummy!) and I feel ridiculously spoiled.
xo
p.s. Baby Boy has been kicking so much this past week. He kicked the most on Christmas morning, while we were just lying in bed, as if to say “Merry Christmas! Love, your best present ever.”
Helene
Katie, you are so strong. this must have been so hard but sounds like you were truly able to make the most out of it. you are so beautiful inside and out.
Katie
Helene, you are the sweetest. Thanks so much for making me smile- you’re the best <3
xo
Nadine
You are an incredible woman for being able to see the positives in the season while struggling with your loss. I’m glad your holiday was a good one. Also, Zack’s Griswold shirt is hilarious!
Katie
Aw thanks Nadine. It wasn’t easy, but we got through it. <3 And yeah, that shirt is now dubbed Zack's Christmas shirt, forever! ;)
xo
Pamela
Awww so sweet that he kicked the most on Christmas day!!!
Katie
I know!! It was really cool :) I guess Baby likes Christmas!
xo
Lorraine
I understand how you feel … it’s weird celebrating Christmas without someone you love. It was my first Christmas without both my grandpas. I enjoyed my time with my family, but definitely felt like something was missing. Glad you were able to still enjoy your time, It looks like you had a beautiful Christmas! You’re glowing in all your pictures :)
Katie
It was definitely a weird and different feeling throughout the season this year. I’m glad you enjoyed your time with family, too, sweet girl. <3
xo
Ashley
Your baby bump is the cutest thing ever! You are such a strong lady to get through this tough season so well. Thinking of you!!
Katie
Thank you, sweet girl. <3 That means so much!
xo
Chelsea @ A Fit LittleOne
This is so cute!! I’m so happy Zack takes such great care of you! My boyfriend is the same way, whenever I’m having a bad day, or am sad, he always comes over and gives me the longest hug, and always makes me laugh. You and your bump just keep getting cuter and cuter :)!. I’m glad you had a good Christmas :).
Katie
Aw thanks Chelsea. We got ourselves some good men!! <3
xo
Jessica @ OrganicallYou
Wow! This post made my heart melt. It looks like you had a wonderful Christmas, but I could imagine it being oh so hard without your Momma. My sincere apologizes & I will pray for you to continue to be so strong!
Oh and that BUMP! I never thought it would show :) Congrats again & Merry CHRISTmas :)
Katie
Thank you so much for your prayers- I need them and I definitely feel them!!! <3
xo
Jamie
I’m glad that you were able to enjoy your holidays despite how hard it must be & I’m also so glad that you could feel your mom there with you all while you celebrate. It’s hard not to be sad about missing those people who are supposed to be there, but of course they would never want us to be sad!
I also think it’s so sweet that you felt baby boy kicking on Christmas morning like that! What an adorable moment for you!!
Jamie @
The Growing Up Diaries
Katie
You are so right- I know she would NEVER want any of us to be sad!! That’s one of the main things that keeps me going and staying positive! <3
xo
jacie
no way…no way in this world do you have on my favorite jcrew Christmas pj flannels…every time i read your blog there is something the same… EVERY TIME!
Katie
Hahaha well, great minds think alike, CLEARLY!!! <3
xo
Gina
Oh, I feel ya Katie. This was my fourth Christmas without my mom and while it every year gets a little easier, it will never truly feel the same. The first year without her was definitely the hardest for me. Sending lots of love and happy thoughts your way! <3
Katie
I definitely understand what you’re saying, and I can see it will never ever be the same. <3 Hugs to you, sweet girl. I hope your Christmas was a good one!!
xo
Liz
This is so, so sweet Katie. The photo of you standing by the tree holding your tummy is just darling. One day your son will look at that photo and say, “this is my mom when she was pregnant with me!” You are absolutely glowing <3
Katie
Aww you are so sweet, Liz!! <3 I never even thought of that :) Makes me smile just thinking about it!!
xo
Karly Kim
I’m sure this Christmas was so hard, but I know your mom was with you guys in spirit. And the love you and Zack have in all of your pictures makes me melt!
Katie
You are just the sweetest, miss Karly. <3
xo
Emily
oh, hugs to you! I know it is hard to continue with the holidays missing someone you love but it’s so good you were all able to find happiness in your holiday, I’m sure that’s what your mom wants for you all.
&& your little bump is way adorable!!
Katie
I know without a shadow of a doubt my mom wants us to only be happy! <3
xo
brittany
bless you, precious girl! i can’t imagine how hard it was to even begin to wrap your emotions around the absense of your mom this year. i am so glad you have such a loving husband and precious new life on the way!! i am sure your mom is looking down so so happily!!! merry christmas, lady! xoxo
Katie
I feel terribly blessed to have this husband of mine and our little one on the way!! It’s what keeps me going and smiling every day :) <3 Merry Christmas to you, sweet girl.
xo
Amber
To think, one person is in Heaven watching over you and another person was sent from Heaven to grow inside of you all in the same year. I’m so sorry your mom isn’t here to be with you during this next chapter in your life. On a lighter note, you look so adorable in all of your outfits in this post! I especially love the winter leggings!
Happy New Year Katie, I love following what you’re up to and 2014 will be no exception =)
Amber
Fashion, Floss and Lip Gloss
Katie
Aw, I love how you put that- one in Heaven and one coming from Heaven!! :) Yes yes yes! Thank you for your sweet comment, you really made my day! I’m so so so glad you like my little blog! <3
xo
Kerry
Glad you had a lovely time :) of course your mom was there with you <3
Kerry @ Lived With Love | Parenting & Lifestyle blog
Katie
Thought of you and your family a lot this Christmas. My cousin, my aunt’s daughter, is around your age and she had a really bad Christmas. A lot of family issues are there and plus her mom was her best friend. Just breaks my heart to see ladies your age without their moms. It isn’t right. I am glad you were able to have a pretty good Christmas still and find the joy in it. You have a beautiful strong spirit. Something to be admired. Love you.
Stephanie @ Mr and Meatless
We totally have that little bird table that was in the first photo. :)