Sunday, March 3, 2013
I am lucky. I am blessed. I am also going through the absolute hardest thing that I have ever had to go through, and one of the hardest things I ever will have to go through in my life. And it sucks. Like, so much, you guys. I would never wish this on anyone; not my worst enemy. My mom was my best friend, and it kills me inside when I think about everything she won't be here for. But I really can't think of those things, because that's when I shut off. That's when I want to crawl into a ball and cry until I can't find anymore tears, and am gasping for breath, and I just can't do that. I don't want to live like that. Cancer is a bitch. An absolute bitch. And I hate it. It makes me angry, it makes me sad, it makes my insides boil and my heart explode. But one day, none of this will matter. One day we will all be at peace and everything will be right. But until that day, I'm taking my sweet mom's advice. I'm not going to throw a "pity party." Not ever. I'm not going to ask myself "why?" because I'll go insane. I'm going to remember to smile and remember to wake up every morning. I'm going to cherish every moment I get to spend with my darling husband and my incredible family and friends and I'm going to live life to the FULLEST. Because we just get this one. And it can be terribly short - tragically short- so let's make the most of it, shall we?